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    SDLEE514   18,820
15,000-19,999 SparkPoints

Battling self-sabotage

Thursday, June 06, 2013

So June is off to a shaky start but I'm determined to turn it around. Monday was my birthday so the weekend prior involved a lot of pre-celebrating. I've actually been feeling motivated, I've been feeling that fire I felt over a year ago when I was determined to see if I could make a difference in my body, I guess looking at pictures and still being unhappy with what you see will do that to you.

I've been keeping up with my workouts, for the last couple days anyways, and I even pushed myself for a run. My downfall has been food. My dinner on Tuesday was a leftover birthday cupcake. Seriously bad, I know. I still have leftover apple cheesecake bars that I've given into both yesterday, and already today. Yesterday was shaping up to be the first "perfect" day in a while, I would have been within calories and percentages, and got a good workout in. But after dinner I felt kind of hungry, I didn't know what to eat, so I went for the cheesecake bar. My sweet tooth wasn't even particularly bad! I just knew it would taste good. I'm still falling into the trap of I can "afford" to eat it. NO, I cannot "afford" dessert nightly if I actually want to see how fit I can be!!

So frustrating. I get hungry, or maybe I only think I do, when I eat under my calorie max (1550). I'm trying to train myself that dealing with feeling hungry and not satisfying that (unless my stomach is ACTUALLY rumbling) will make me stronger. I'm trying to make my body stronger, so why not train that too? I don't know what to do. I'm just at a standstill and still unhappy with parts of my body, and I'm the type of person that believes if you're unhappy you need to do everything in your power to do something about it. So why am I self-sabotaging?!

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
VERONICAVW_140 6/21/2013 2:24PM

    I hear ya! A blogger I follow just blogged about not eating cupcakes for 5 whole weeks. She gives up certain foods that she loves to eat in order to see how long she can go without that particular food. She said she does it to toughen up her self control. She finally gave in and enjoyed the cupcake and I guess is moving on to see what food she will abstain from next.
I hope you are able to find your happy medium between eating when hungry and indulging every once in a while. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SQUIRRELLYONE 6/10/2013 3:20PM

    I hear you! After almost a month, I caved last night and bought Sour Snowboards. *sigh* And then I ate them.

Oh well. Just keep swimming!

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WHOVIANGIRL23 6/10/2013 12:58PM

    Sometimes I'm hungry all the time, sometimes I'm not hungry at all. It's definitely a struggle!

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STFRENCH 6/10/2013 7:33AM

    Some days, I seem to be hungry ALL day even if I get all my meals and snacks in - in those instances, I add a few extra healthy snacks, like avocado or grilled chicken. And I make sure I've had plenty to drink
But the thing is, if I don't deal with these hunger pangs swiftly, I'll lose all control and eat whatever I can get my hands on, good or bad!

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STONECOT 6/7/2013 9:13AM

    Go and clean your teeth! If the hunger pangs survive that, they're real! emoticon

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BONOLICIOUS2 6/7/2013 9:06AM

    Ugh, I feel like some days you just need a cupcake (or for me, something salty haha). The REALLY difficult part is knowing when to stop or knowing where the balance lies. I also have a seriously messed up difficult time knowing when I'm truly hungry. I have seen a few tips floating around spark - if you think you're hungry after dinner, have a cup of tea. See if it goes away or not. Distract yourself. It can be SO hard to remember that in the moment though!

You said it yourself though - you're not gonna stand for it. Time to whip yourself into shape! You can do it!

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KELLYFIT123 6/7/2013 6:49AM

    I've also been sabotaging myself when it comes to food lately. I sometimes think it's bc I'm feeling defiant... Against myself and my desired healthy habits! I don't have a good, tried and true way around it, sorry to say.

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CLRWILLIAMS25 6/6/2013 8:19PM

    Sometimes, I can be satisfied with 1300 calories and sometimes, I think 1550 is way too low. It doesn't even seem to have anything to do with my exercise levels or anything sensible.
I totally understand the self sabotage, although I can't really offer advice on how to stop it :( It's like when you're eating ___, you even think about how you should stop, but keep on eating it anyways! I think my plan of attack is to make sure I drink an ungodly amount of water every day, get my workout in and take the food think one meal at a time.

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LLBLOVER 6/6/2013 6:11PM

    Though I am not at your level yet, I can relate. I think we all can, as we have all been saboteurs at one point or another in our journey. I, too, am doing the same thing right now and, in fact, have been for a couple of months. I know what I ought to, and deep down WANT to do, but I still allow myself to fail, thinking I will either make it up later or I will try again "tomorrow". I think there is a fine line between beating ourselves up for doing something unhealthy and letting ourselves off the hook too easily. Hang in there! We can do this!!!

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