Thursday, June 06, 2013
I have to say that I have grown tired on this weightloss journey. It's been a long time since I had any real loss and the stress in my life hasn't been a help to me.
Yes, I do feel like giving up on many...most days. There is something inside me that won't let me quit. I know that deep down, I'm grateful for this. I still have another 46 pounds to go.
I started this in December 2011. I thought that I'd be at my goal by now with the start I had. I spent more than six months losing 50 pounds and then the wall hit me...hard. I've not lost another pound since. I have re-lost the same darned five pounds since July of last year. My body doesn't seem to want to go any further.
I have been feeling unsure as to what will force it back into action. Things getting busier in my life, again, hasn't been a help to me. I also don't want to work out six days a week, though it seems that this might be the only way for me to kick my butt, literally, into gear.
I have eliminated a lot of excuses from my life since I started this. I've found that they don't move too far away when you're feeling down. They come back like old friends who are more enemy than friend. I don't have actual frenemies in my life, so I was not expecting this. Exercise and I will probably never become friends, so we've kept a cordial relationship of me doing it anyway and trying to smile so that I get some extra endorphins as a reward.
I did try a "woman's" supplement for a couple weeks and nothing happened. I had to give it a try just because I was feeling desperate. I've not used anything except changing my lifestyle to lose weight. This is a one-time thing for me. Meaning that once I'm done, it's maintenance, not killing myself to get where I want to be.
I've tried to cut myself some slack, but it doesn't work that way for me. So, today is where I begin again. I've had a good, low-calorie breakfast. I'll have a healthy, big lunch, as usual. I spend most of my calories in the middle of the day because I have a greater opportunity to burn off what I've eaten. Dinner will be light.
Ok, girl. Get back out there and do what you know you can do. You've already proven that you know how to lose weight in a healthy manner. You've already shown that you have the resolve to stick with it. You already know that you're worth it. You already know that you're never going back to being fat. You already feel and look better than you have in two decades. There is nothing in your way. You love yourself enough to keep going. Just do it!