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SUNSHINE65
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Late, late, late...

Thursday, June 06, 2013

Top Ten Other Names Considered by Vin Diesel

10. Din Viesel
9. Dirk Nozzle
8. Don Cheadle
7. Van Decal
6. Vindlebert Humperdiesel
5. Beef Recall
4. Jean-Claude Van Diesel
3. Witch Hazel
2. Veal Schnitzel
1. Vin Cougar Mellendiesel

David Letterman


China is the winner in the Iraq war? They weren't even nominated! China's not even in the running! Don't you have to be in a war to win it? China... you've already beaten us in synchronized drumming, bear cuteness, air chewability, and you've gotta take this from us too? -Jon Stewart


By the way, I'm not a microbiologist so, in this story, I don't need to see your virus porn. I don't know what that is! I have no idea if that picture means "We're all gonna die!" or "Congratulations you're having triplets!" -Jon Stewart


Tonight I come to you with a heavy heart. And not just because my pre-show cocktail is a bourbon and Nutella. No folks, I am ensaddened by the recent announced retirement of "an" conservative giant Michelle Bachmann. The congresswoman who represents Minnesota's "Valley of the Dolls". -Stephen Colbert
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