Wednesday, June 05, 2013
The meeting with my spiritual director this morning was just what I needed. It included a contemplative prayer session in which I felt affirmed & blessed in my need to be alone in my home as part of my long-term healing from the many experiences of anger from those I loved & lived with.
And I got in tons of exercise today--fast walking that really worked me. And I made one of my favorite (batch) dishes, peanut-garbanzo curry.
S & I had a good talk after supper. Turns out that she is more fragile than I realized & has felt pretty insecure around me all along. We agreed that some of it is her own stuff, but there were definitely some statements/interactions that I needed to apologize for. Then I transitioned to the issue of wanting to live alone. I assured her it wasn't because of this incident but that I'd become increasingly aware of my need for solitude. She received it well. Turns out that she had begun thinking of moving out but was picturing next spring, while I'd like it to be sooner, by the end of the summer. Some people in the community she's part of may be moving in October, which would open up a space for her . . . so I told her that if it looks like the best option won't be available till then, she can stay that long. But that's the outer limit, & she said she'd try to work out something before then.
We also agreed that after she leaves she can come back & visit with my kitty Gizmo, whom she's very attached to. Plus the condo association may be willing to pay her for a few hours of work each month on the garden shrubs & the basement vermicompost bins, which she's been getting into shape.
I am feeling hugely relieved & blessed. Big thanks to those of you who have "listened" by reading & commenting--I so appreciate it!