Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.


    IPA-RAY   103,807
SparkPoints
100,000-149,999 SparkPoints
 
 

Puns for Educated Minds.


Wednesday, June 05, 2013

I haven't posted anything in a long time. This is too good not to pass on.

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: "You stay here, I'll go on a head."

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine .

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
SHARE

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
AELARLEE1 6/17/2013 11:02AM

    :) Enjoyed these today!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
RASPBERRY56 6/15/2013 8:47PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
2WHEELER 6/6/2013 3:38PM

    These are great; thanks for the laugh. I am definitely passing these on.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BE-THE-CHANGE 6/6/2013 1:02PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
IFDEEVARUNS2 6/6/2013 9:22AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DR1939 6/6/2013 8:55AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNSET09 6/6/2013 3:44AM

  My comic relief of the day! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
WALLAHALLA 6/5/2013 10:24PM

    Thanks for the laughs. # 9 was my favorite.

Report Inappropriate Comment
WATERMELLEN 6/5/2013 9:48PM

    Oh, yikes: who can resist this headline? And of course if I don't get the punch lines, it's proof positive that I don't have an educated mind, right?

(dead raccoons my fave . . . )

Report Inappropriate Comment
MERRYMARY42 6/5/2013 7:24PM

    all 25 made me laugh, but especially no. 3 Thanks I enjoy them

Report Inappropriate Comment
LIGHTNINGRUNNER 6/5/2013 5:19PM

    Thanks for the giggles. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

Add Your Comment to the Blog Post


Log in to post a comment.