Lately, I've been going through a lot -- trying to find a new job, healing my foot injury, worrying about the upcoming races, etc. These things have produced lots of emotions which have led to plenty of binges. These last few weeks have been tough, and I had decided to quit my journey of finding health and a lower weight.
I've realized, though, that quitting my journey wasn't going to help me at all. In fact, it only added more problems -- how I felt about myself and how I felt physically. I've been bloated and puffy for the past month now which has made me hate my body more. Because of this hatred, I've been sticking to clothes that do not show my stomach. In addition, I haven't been feeling well. I've been fatigued, irritated, bloated, dehydrated, etc. The last few weeks haven't been great.
I'm friends with Fit Mama Training on Facebook; I've been silently reading her blogs and statuses that are filled with talk about her journey to health. While her journey is far different than mine (she did it for her daughter), there are many things that I can apply to my life. For example, she talks about putting away the scale and connecting with your body through food and exercise. One of her biggest things is listening to your body and taking account of how you feel about you eat and exercise. Here's an excerpt:
"What do you think would happen if you stopped focusing on what's wrong with your body, what the "right" exercises are and what's "bad" to eat? And instead focused on what's good about your body and what makes your body feel good physically (exercise and food wise)? Do you really think letting go of all the rules and self criticism would result in some terrifying end result for your body? Because I happen to think without all the rules and negativity you might find yourself MORE fit, MORE active and eating healthier because it made you feel amazing. And because you'd know you deserve to feel amazing." -- Fit Mama Training, Facebook
Since all of my attempts have focused on weight loss instead of how my body feels, I've decided to go about my journey a different way. Instead of hating my body, I'm choosing to make peace with it in the mirror every day. I'm choosing to be grateful for this body and what it can do. When it comes to food, I'm choosing to listen to my body and eat things that make me feel good. I'm also deciding to take it one meal at a time. One meal at a time, though, doesn't mean perfection. There will be times that french fries sound better than quinoa; that's ok.
I've challenged myself to two weeks of making peace and listening to my body. I'm striving to get rid of the negative self talk because my body doesn't deserve it. Hatred has not been working for me in the past, so now, it's time to love.
Food Diary -- I may or may not do this every day, but since I'm not tracking, this will be a good way to keep tabs on what I've eaten. Again, it's not about "good" and "bad"; for me, it's about awareness.
Breakfast -- Although I don't have a picture, I had donut holes and a Pepsi.
Snack -- Same as breakfast.
I got a grilled chicken salad and a fruit bowl from Chick-fil-a. This was my first time trying blueberries, and I actually like them.
I listened to my body yesterday. After eating the cucumbers and hummus, I still felt hungry, so I sliced up a green pepper. Upon finishing the green pepper and hummus, I realized how much I love that snack. It's so good.
BJ got home late, so we did something quick -- chicken salads. Mine had lots of stuff to it -- lettuce, tomatoes, onion, yellow pepper, chickpeas, chicken, a few bacon bits, a little cheese, and dressing. It was delicious!
Water -- 6 cups.
Sorry this blog is a bit long.