Venting from : ( to : )
Tuesday, June 04, 2013
Dearest Sparker Family,
I've been in a bit of a fog for the last 2and1/2 weeks. (which actually feels like at least a month) I know I'm not supposed to let circumstances mess with me, but I did. The good news is that both my mom and my mom-in-law are recovering nicely from back surgeries. My own mom, however, is still in rehab and my parents live with us, so my Dad has been absolutely terrible. Yes, I know I should have compassion with his wife being in the hospital for such a long stay, but I am at this place of vulnerability myself and I cannot bear anymore of his harsh mean words and comments directed at me. I have been helping him, however, with laundry and cooking some food for him because in all truth, he is very helpless without Mom. I do avoid him as much as possible also because of his extreme negativity. Everything is bleak and bad and horrible in his perspective and I disagree!! Today, for example, was an absolutely beautiful spring day and I went for a nice walk and really enjoyed every step I took! I found myself smiling and grateful for a break from the heat and delighted in the temperature and the sunshine. Ahhhhhhhh....life is actually quite good....even quite great! Wouldn't it be nice if I could have a positive affect on my Dad and get him to see life from a different perspective? Believe me, I have tried on countless occasions, but to no avail. My Dad cannot receive from me. I really think it has something to do with me being a woman. He treats my Mom very abusively with his words and he tries it on me too, but I refuse to let him get away with it. SO....I have been EATING TOO MUCH FOOD and I NEED TO REFOCUS AND ENJOY THIS WONDERFUL SUMMER AND SLIM DOWN WITH THE COMBINATION OF SWIMMING LAPS IN OUR POOL, (got the cover off yesterday and the water is clear and blue thanks to my sweet hubby keeping it chlorinated during the winter)AND TRACKING MY EATING ON SPARK: STAYING WITHIN THE LOW END OF MY CALORIE RANGE AND CONVERSING WITH MY WONDERFUL SPARKER FRIENDS WHO ARE SUCH A TREASURE TO ME.
If you have a cheer or a word of encouragement or you can relate to my struggles with my Dad, I'd so love and need to hear from you all. Thank you for not giving up on me. I WILL CONTINUE TO MOVE FORWARD AND HAVE SUCCESS WITH MY HEALTH BECAUSE I HAVE THE LOVE AND SUPPORT OF JESUS AND MY AMAZING SPARKERS!!!
LOVE AND HUGS TO YOU ALL. I hope that each of you are having an easier summer season than my current struggles. BUT NO MATTER WHAT, WE HAVE EACH OTHER and I want to be there for you whether your season is sunny or full of hurricanes and tornadoes.
TAKE CARE and NEVER QUIT!
PS. This blog posting is such great therapy. I LOVE IT!!