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Venting from : ( to : )

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Dearest Sparker Family,
I've been in a bit of a fog for the last 2and1/2 weeks. (which actually feels like at least a month) I know I'm not supposed to let circumstances mess with me, but I did. The good news is that both my mom and my mom-in-law are recovering nicely from back surgeries. My own mom, however, is still in rehab and my parents live with us, so my Dad has been absolutely terrible. Yes, I know I should have compassion with his wife being in the hospital for such a long stay, but I am at this place of vulnerability myself and I cannot bear anymore of his harsh mean words and comments directed at me. I have been helping him, however, with laundry and cooking some food for him because in all truth, he is very helpless without Mom. I do avoid him as much as possible also because of his extreme negativity. Everything is bleak and bad and horrible in his perspective and I disagree!! Today, for example, was an absolutely beautiful spring day and I went for a nice walk and really enjoyed every step I took! I found myself smiling and grateful for a break from the heat and delighted in the temperature and the sunshine. is actually quite good....even quite great! Wouldn't it be nice if I could have a positive affect on my Dad and get him to see life from a different perspective? Believe me, I have tried on countless occasions, but to no avail. My Dad cannot receive from me. I really think it has something to do with me being a woman. He treats my Mom very abusively with his words and he tries it on me too, but I refuse to let him get away with it. SO....I have been EATING TOO MUCH FOOD and I NEED TO REFOCUS AND ENJOY THIS WONDERFUL SUMMER AND SLIM DOWN WITH THE COMBINATION OF SWIMMING LAPS IN OUR POOL, (got the cover off yesterday and the water is clear and blue thanks to my sweet hubby keeping it chlorinated during the winter)AND TRACKING MY EATING ON SPARK: STAYING WITHIN THE LOW END OF MY CALORIE RANGE AND CONVERSING WITH MY WONDERFUL SPARKER FRIENDS WHO ARE SUCH A TREASURE TO ME.
If you have a cheer or a word of encouragement or you can relate to my struggles with my Dad, I'd so love and need to hear from you all. Thank you for not giving up on me. I WILL CONTINUE TO MOVE FORWARD AND HAVE SUCCESS WITH MY HEALTH BECAUSE I HAVE THE LOVE AND SUPPORT OF JESUS AND MY AMAZING SPARKERS!!!

LOVE AND HUGS TO YOU ALL. I hope that each of you are having an easier summer season than my current struggles. BUT NO MATTER WHAT, WE HAVE EACH OTHER and I want to be there for you whether your season is sunny or full of hurricanes and tornadoes.


PS. This blog posting is such great therapy. I LOVE IT!! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    My hubby points out to me that my family isn't happy unless they are unhappy. I hear you and totally empathize. Having him in your actual home all the time must be especially hard though. For one thing, think of it as giving your mom a well-deserved break! And, of course, forgive him. He may be reacting this way (and for all his life) in reaction to fear or having learned it from his own parents. I feel for you and for both your parents.
    You are doing the right thing, even though it's the hard thing. This life is too short to spend it in the chains of negativity. You will be teaching your kids how to cope with ppl in their future who are negative in a loving manner by your example!
    1718 days ago
    I feel for you. I HAD a very negative mother who abused me with her words. I was an emotionally abused child and even an adult. I'm still not over it. I married "my mother". My husband is the same way. My mother is dead now and my husband is 64 and set in his ways. I talk to him often about it, but it does no good. The best I can do for myself is pray the serenity prayer: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdon to know the difference."

    Dear Heavenly Father, I lift my SparkFriend up to you asking for the strength she needs with her father to live the best life as is possible for her. Grant her serenity to accept the situations in her life. We know we can't change anyone but ourselves and I ask that you give her the power to get through these difficult. times. Bring speedy healing to her mother and never leave her side. Send your angels to watch over her as she recovers. Thy perfect will be done. In Jesus' precious name I pray, amen.

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    1718 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/4/2013 9:24:27 PM
    emoticon I'm proud of you for coming here and letting some of the frustration out, and for getting out and walking and enjoying the day in SPITE of the negativity. Having dealt with an elderly parent who was nasty and hard to be around, my heart goes out to you. I'll be praying for you. Hang in there! emoticon
    1718 days ago
    Your dad may not be able to receive from you like you would like for him to, but your prayers for him are offered up to God and not to your father. You have a mighty power within you to change the world, one person at a time, through your prayers. Saturate your father in prayer and honor him through the way you interact with him. Refuse to let his negativity put a damper on your positive attitude and continue to respond to him in love, for love covers a multitude of sins!

    God bless you!
    1718 days ago
    emoticon I so understand! I have the same situation with my parents only it is my dad I take care and my mom who cannot recieve anything from me. JOY joy joy!

    Take care of yourself!
    God Bless you!

    Jean emoticon
    1718 days ago
    Hang in there and do your best not to focus on the harsh words from your father You can't change him but you can change your reaction to him. Please try to find some time in your busy, busy life to concentrate on you. Your weight is probably the least of your worries right now but maintaining a healthy lifestyle is important to your whole family. Go enjoy that pool and make sure you get some alone time. emoticon
    1719 days ago
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