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    WANDERLUSTROUS   8,088
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I'm Pregnant!

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Surprise! I'm just couple days shy of 2 months now. It's kind of hard to keep this kind of news from your Sparkfriends. Now that I've heard a strong heart beat and everything is going well, I figured what better time than now to spill the beans.

My husband and I are really excited. We still can't believe it.

My mom and step dad are horrible, horrible people though. When I was walking into my first ultrasound, I got this hateful text from my step dad threatening to take a car that my parents gave to me 7 years ago. They're very mentally ill people, so I try not to let their bad behavior get to me. Every major life event (the LSAT, my graduation, the bar, my wedding, and now my first ultrasound) they have ruined. Maybe it's the hormones, but this time I'm really hurt.

I see them a handful of times a year at family parties. I really don't think that's going to change, despite the fact that this will be their first grandchild (I'm an only child and my step dad's kids haven't spoken to them in years). I don't need them for anything, and I don't want to be around people who strictly make me feel terrible.

It's really sad. I wish I had parents who were loving and caring. Now would be a good time to celebrate with someone like that.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KIMCOLLINGS 6/14/2013 12:01PM

    Congratulations!!!! So sorry about your mom and step dad, but you can celebrate with your sparkies and we will be thrilled for you and with you every step of the way! Can't wait to hear updates! Enjoy this time. It's so special!!

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WANDERLUSTROUS 6/5/2013 10:26AM

    Thanks for the well-wishes, everybody! I love my Sparkfriends! Thanks for letting me vent and being supportive.

My husband and I are complying with all of my mom and step dad's absurd requests. This way they won't have anything to hold over our heads and we can just move on with our lives.

In his text message, my step-dad said (amongst many other mean things) I wasn't "independent" because of 3 things- the car title is still in their name, I still have some stuff at my mom's house, and when I went to graduate school, my mom co-signed on a private student loan for $22K. It was for a very small amount compared to my total loan cost- as in 1/10 of the total amount I owe- it was just for part of my first year and for the cost of the bar exam. (BTW- She never paid for any of my school. She made me pay her back for the money she gave us for our wedding. She called it a loan after the fact. But to this day, she says she paid for the cost of my wedding ring (her money wasn't allocated to anything in particular) and belittles my husband saying it was his job to buy me one. He's in medical school and doesn't have an income right now. Anyways- this is a tangent- but I had to come up with $6K to pay her back for the "wedding loan" she gave us as I was buying our first home, just 6 months after the wedding. She made me pay her all at once and wouldn't allow me to pay her back over a period of time).

First, we're transferring the title of the car in my name. My mom is on disability (doesn't need to be on disability by the way- she was a real estate agent who couldn't get work when the housing market crashed. I recognize that she's ill, but she's definitely taking advantage of the system.) and just sits at home all day. Since it's a gift from her to me, she could take care of all the paperwork. I am a lawyer. I can't take a day off work to do this. My husband is doing it for me just to get it over with.

Second, my husband is literally throwing everything away that is still at their house (even though they said they wanted some of it- now they're going back on what they want- so we're just going to toss it.) It's some furniture that we didn't get an opportunity to sell and some boxes in a crawl space.

Finally, I called the bank and requested to get my mom off as a guarantor on my loan. The bank said they'd get back to me with a decision within 5-7 days. If the bank denies the request, I'm going to have to pay it off completely. That means using my husbands first student loan disbursement of the year, my end of the year bonus, and our tax refund check. It absolutely sucks- I should be saving for a baby, but instead I'm complying with a ridiculous request. (Btw, I've never had a late payment on anything in my life- my credit score is great and I'm obviously a very responsible person)

I'm basically doing whatever it takes to cut all times with them to just move on. We already came up with a plan to make me a private patient at the hospital so she doesn't ruin the delivery of the baby like she's ruined every other important moment in my life.

Thanks for listening, everyone. It really means a lot.

Comment edited on: 6/5/2013 10:30:02 AM

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IN_MY_HEART 6/5/2013 1:39AM

    I'm so pleased to hear of your new addition to your family, I'm sure that you are going to make a wonderful parent along with your husband, a baby is a wonderful gift to cherish and be eternally grateful for. emoticon

Don't let your horrid relations ruin this wonderful moment for you, I know it's difficult when they say hurtful things but some people are never happy with themselves and like to see other people feeling the same way.

Big hug to you and husband emoticon

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JEANINNEWCASTLE 6/5/2013 1:13AM

  Congratulations! I'm sorry about your step dad and mom.

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NBLONDHEIM 6/4/2013 9:57PM

    Awwwwwww! How very exciting!!!! emoticon

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MYLADY4 6/4/2013 8:51PM

    WHOOOHOOOO, how freeking exciting.

If you can, stop seeing them. It may be hard but you just don't need that. I stopped talking to my father when I was 17 and really have not seen him since. My sister stopped seeing him too. Just because they are blood does not mean that you need to see them.

emoticon

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LITTLE1DER 6/4/2013 5:40PM

    Congratulations! Share this news with the people that support you and love you as you deserve to be loved! It is amazing, wonderful news and to heck with them-it is all their loss in this big beautiful world to miss out on this. Try not to let them dampen your blessing or add undue stress.
It sounds like you have your head on right so you will not only be able to have a healthy happy relationship with your child/children so they will never know the pain you feel now! Sometimes what we don't pass on to our children is as important as what we do!

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SJACK06S 6/4/2013 3:11PM

  Congratulations on your happy news!!

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WOUBBIE 6/4/2013 2:40PM

    SQUEEEEE!!!! How exciting! Congratulations and best wishes!

(As to your toxic relatives, maybe this is the time to make a clean break, so that they don't have a chance to be included in your REAL family.)

Hope the cravings monster doesn't get you over the next few months! Our very own zero-carb diva, Suzanne, was pulling her hair out wanting carbs for months. She actually went to about 20g a day in veggies (a big deal for her!) but was so happy to switch back right after delivery. Another former frequent poster, ST@YFIT, stayed low carb the whole pregnancy and DIDN'T have many cravings, so you just never know.

http://www.sparkpeople.com/
mypage.asp?id=ST%40YFIT

Comment edited on: 6/4/2013 2:45:30 PM

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MTAL203 6/4/2013 2:05PM

  Sometimes blood relations doesn't make it "family" - turn to your close friends as your family and share your joy with them. The people who love you and support you ALL the time are the ones who deserve the title of "family" - regardless of their bloodlines. Congratulations on your wonderful news. Enjoy this miracle you and your husband have created!

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