So, why is this time different?
Tuesday, June 04, 2013
As I write this, my mother is dying. Ours has been a complicated, difficult relationship. For 30+ years she's been a chain-smoking, raging alcoholic. And now at 69 years old, she is dying a painful death from her third type of cancer. It is horrible to watch. She's been in horrible health for the last 10 years, in a nursing home for the last 3 of those.
I went to go see her and it was a huge wake up call for me. Do I want to be 60 years old and counting my last years? Bedridden, having someone change my diapers? Unable to eat solid food, every day worse than the one before? Putting my children through the agony of watching what my horrible decisions have done to my body?
NO. No, no no no no no no no no. Not happening here.
I want to be 69 and hiking the Grand Canyon. Signing up for charity rides, be the last one on the dance floor at my granddaughter's wedding. I want a full life with no physical boundaries. I want to go out of this life with a smile on my face and have no regrets - NONE.
This is my life and it is time to make it the best one I can.