Tuesday, June 04, 2013
I have struggled with weight issues my entire life, from the time I was in grade school I remember feeling bigger than most of the other kids around me...I think I put MYSELF on my first diet when I was still in elementary school which is horrifying to think about now, I should have been enjoying my childhood not thinking about how I wasn't a skinny-minny. My self-esteem issues led me to believe that food was evil. The more I tried to stay away from it though the more I craved it and when I was particularly down in the dumps I always turned to food for comfort which caused me to blow up during college reaching a weight of 200 lbs, a lot for my height of 5'3''.
About two years ago I had this epiphany that reminded me of the line from Austin Powers that goes a little like, "I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle" I realized that the more I was eating, the more I NEEDED to eat and it was going to kill me and rob me of my health eventually. I made that difficult first step to go to the gym and before I knew it I was down to 155 and I never felt in more control of my life.
In April of last year I was hit with salmonella which caused my gallbladder to become infected and burst and in the recovery time of the surgery and the fact that I was unable to keep any food down I went to my lowest weight, 145. I was surprisingly able to maintain this weight for most of the summer but I eventually became very lazy and found that it was harder and harder to go to the gym. By the time the holidays came around I was barely going once a week and my eating habits had become absolutely terrible again.
Fast forward a few months and here I am...I have gained back about twenty pounds since last year and I am terrified that I am letting my health and weight get out of control again. I don't want to have food be my crutch and my excuse for everything that is wrong, I want to be healthy! Most importantly I want to be able to look at food and not think of it as my "enemy."
I am ready for this weightloss journey and I am already motivated by the blogs and posts and articles I have seen since I started this page last night. LET THE JOURNEY BEGIN :-)