1-99 SparkPoints 61


Tuesday, June 04, 2013

I have struggled with weight issues my entire life, from the time I was in grade school I remember feeling bigger than most of the other kids around me...I think I put MYSELF on my first diet when I was still in elementary school which is horrifying to think about now, I should have been enjoying my childhood not thinking about how I wasn't a skinny-minny. My self-esteem issues led me to believe that food was evil. The more I tried to stay away from it though the more I craved it and when I was particularly down in the dumps I always turned to food for comfort which caused me to blow up during college reaching a weight of 200 lbs, a lot for my height of 5'3''.

About two years ago I had this epiphany that reminded me of the line from Austin Powers that goes a little like, "I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle" I realized that the more I was eating, the more I NEEDED to eat and it was going to kill me and rob me of my health eventually. I made that difficult first step to go to the gym and before I knew it I was down to 155 and I never felt in more control of my life.

In April of last year I was hit with salmonella which caused my gallbladder to become infected and burst and in the recovery time of the surgery and the fact that I was unable to keep any food down I went to my lowest weight, 145. I was surprisingly able to maintain this weight for most of the summer but I eventually became very lazy and found that it was harder and harder to go to the gym. By the time the holidays came around I was barely going once a week and my eating habits had become absolutely terrible again.

Fast forward a few months and here I am...I have gained back about twenty pounds since last year and I am terrified that I am letting my health and weight get out of control again. I don't want to have food be my crutch and my excuse for everything that is wrong, I want to be healthy! Most importantly I want to be able to look at food and not think of it as my "enemy."

I am ready for this weightloss journey and I am already motivated by the blogs and posts and articles I have seen since I started this page last night. LET THE JOURNEY BEGIN :-)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you so much for the support, so happy to work my way through this and to see everyone else doing the same :-)
    1689 days ago
    1689 days ago
  • CHANY009
    Sounds like you've had a pretty hard journey so far! But like the previous poster said, the hardest part is over and you know you can do it!
    1689 days ago
  • VEG_GIRL04
    You've done this hardest part - you've realized your relationship with food, had some ups and down and have resolved to do better.

    Now's the perfect time to switch up your workout plan if you're tired with your old ones, come up with some new recipes from SP to add to your life and rely on real life friends and SP friends to support you! You can do this!
    1689 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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