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JESPAH
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Speak to Me

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

www.youtube.com/watch?v=
Y6B25LcgAuE


Oops, I'm a day late with the blog. Ah, well. In repentance, I offer you Natalie Merchant, and a song that isn't played enough.

So - what's new in the world o' jes? Little versus last week. Life was very weather-driven, as it suddenly got hot and so outdoor activities were curtailed and modified. And I was reminded, once again, of how things have changed. It used to be that a couple of 90 degree days would wipe me out so thoroughly that all I could do was nap. I would move from kitchen to bathroom to bedroom (and the only one of those three rooms with air conditioning was the bedroom), like a zombie. Even with air conditioning in the computer room, I would inevitably find myself heavy-lidded and zonked out by 2.

And as for any sort of exercise, well, I wasn't doing that anyway. The heat was simply yet another excuse.

Things are different now.

It's funny.

I have regained about 80 pounds, no lie. Maintenance is incredibly, unbelievably hard. And lest you think I am near what I was when I started, the truth is, I am not - am still 100 pounds off that. Yeah, I was that huge.

But even with a wicked regain, my life is still transformed. Even hot weather doesn't completely stop everything, and grind life to a completely screeching halt. Even that is not enough to stop me.

Do I want to be lighter again? I would like for things to be easier - I won't deny that. But I am happy to be active, and to be doing more than I had been.

Don't let anyone tell you that maintenance is a picnic. It is anything but that.

But.

I want to face it, and its challenges, clear-eyed and without fear, and to continue to do so. No matter where it takes me. Speak to me, and tell me of your tales of it, too, and we will face it clear-eyed.

And fearlessly.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v DDOORN
    Maintenance is an incredible challenge...absolutely SO with you in your struggles!

    During my time with our SparkFamily I managed to get to my all-time adult low of 200 a few years back. Since then I've crept up to 255 earlier this year in January. Some might say 55 pounds is *CREEPING*?!? But yes, for me that is what it has felt like. I've been clawing my way back down the scale and am 240 now. Cycling season has me ACUTELY aware of my extra baggage...the hills, oh the HILLS!

    But I'm not bailing on me, on you, on our SparkFamily! If we're gonna live then let's LIVE!

    Viva la SPARK! :-)

    Don
    1084 days ago
  • v QUEENOTHEFOREST
    Wow that 80 came back so fast! A powerful message. i remember when you were at your lowest and your fabulous photos. I think it is brave of you to face up to your gain and to tell us about the struggle to maintain. I have a long way to go to get to maintenance. I guess this is not something that we can achieve and then call it a day. This was a very important message for me to hear. Thank you.
    1085 days ago
  • v TEMPEST272002
    Alright, I'll do it. I'll be clear-eyed with you. I was once size 26/28, then I got down to size 8 & now I'm a 14/16. Like you, I truly appreciate how "able" I am at this weight... and also feel frustration at myself for having regained so much weight... and still feel hopeful that I can learn how to maintain a healthy lifestyle. My current goals include: pushing myself to get up and break a sweat every single freaking day & to be real with myself when I'm deciding what to eat. We already know that every good choice counts & so does everyone poor one. The trick, I think, is to consistently make more healthy choices than unhealthy ones.
    1086 days ago
  • v STRONGDAWG
    I have never met goal weight. Alas. However I have never regained to the point that I am back at 200. Right now I am losing the 10 pounds I gained over the winter with regular, hard exercise and tracking food. It's hard and it's a lifetime journey. We'll get there, all of us, together. We will get there.
    1087 days ago
  • v MS.ELENI
    I have heard many people say that mantenance was harder than losing the weight. I am sure you will lose weight again. emoticon
    1087 days ago
  • v PHEBESS
    I can SO relate - I'm probably about 10 (maybe 15?) lbs more than my lowest post-Spark - and I truly should lose another 40-50 beyond that. But I can't seem to get below a certain point, and it's so easy to say oh hey it's a plateau, I can't do anything about it, that cookie won't matter anyway.

    I'm hoping our travelling will help - I do a lot more walking when in new places (without a car), and I eat what I want when I want, so I actually eat less. I think.

    Jeans still fit about the same, though.
    1087 days ago
  • v WADINGMOOSE
    Love your post. I'm stuck in a rut of losing and regaining the same 5-10 pounds right now and it's a little frustrating. For some reason I start making great progress and then I sabotage myself. I think I need to step away from the scale and just focus on how great I feel when I eat right and exercise. The scale isn't my friend :)
    1087 days ago
  • v IFDEEVARUNS2
    emoticon Love the attitude! I can SO relate.
    1087 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

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