It's been 2 years since I changed my diet due to my food intolerance testing. In a desperate attempt to eliminate the bloating, cramping, diarrhea, swelling, hives, weight gain........I completely changed my food choices.
And while I know that things are much better, I still have daily bloating and my life feels like I spend WAY too much time thinking about how I feel, what I can eat for the next meal, and what foods I'm missing.
Most of the time I try to stay upbeat and positive about these challenges. I have met a TON of people along the way......everywhere......that are faced with the same challenges! I mean, everywhere! Waiters, old friends, my tattoo artist, my hair dresser, my new boss, my own daughter! It's far more common then I ever knew. So I feel blessed to be able to share what I've learned with others that are struggling also. Together we can all help each other.
I get excited about trying new recipes, even though the odds are only 50/50 that it will be a keeper. Even though I'm sorry that my daughter is following in my dairy free footsteps, I'm excited to have someone who will get excited about my recipes instead of thinking they are "weird".
But even with all of that positive stuff, there are days that I get so down, the tears well up in my eyes and I get so depressed. I just want to be able to eat, with out any restrictions, to be able to eat the foods I grew up loving, to sit in a restaurant and order what ever I want without giving the waiter the third degree about the ingredients and cooking manner. I feel beaten down. Tired. I look at my future......I've got another good 40 years of this life (God willing!) and sometimes I just don't know if I have the energy to do this that long. It's a lot of work. And sometimes I just don't have it in me. I just don't. There are days when I make my husband a wonderful meal that I can't eat. I hand it to him and he says : What are you eating? And I just say, I don't know. I'm tired of eating. Mostly, I'm just tired of MY eating. Then I eat something easy and lame and pretty unexciting. Like a bowl of gluten free cereal with almond milk. Woo Hoo........
I think about the traveling my husband and I want to do some day. And the excitement is tempered by the hassle it will be for me to eat. What if we go overseas somewhere and then maybe have to throw in a language barrier too!? It just takes away some of the excitement, you know?
I know, I'm kind of having a pity party. But, I don't know where else to express this. This is the only place where someone might understand.
I know in another day or two, I'll be fine and that will go on for a while and then this mood will hit again.....it's a rollercoaster.
So, I keep coming back to the positive....
My emergency bathroom trips have ended for the most part.
My hives are rare now.
My sever stomach cramps are gone.
So, what I have to deal with is bloating and swelling. So, that's not THAT bad. But, I haven't quite figured out the mystery ingredients that are still bothering me. And that's where the frustration comes in. I have pretty good will power to avoid foods that bother me. But when I don't know what they are .....or they change (as often happens with food intolerances!) it becomes quite the challenge.
Ok, I'm done. Thanks for listening.
I know I'm not alone and I'm sorry if you're going through the same thing. You're not alone either.
I guess it's just one day at a time.