Monday, June 03, 2013
"What matters most in life is often viewed as peripheral to the things that we usually focus on. Passion takes a backseat to production, wellness to working, and balance to busyness. The old adage that 'life is not a dress rehearsal' is so true, yet we act to the contrary by putting off what is truly important or indulging in things that are not. On your birthday, stop focusing on your age and start meditating on your life at this exact moment. How can you make it better? During the next year, reshuffle your priorities. Spend more time with family and friends, take care of your body and health by eating well and exercising regularly, and offer to help others in need. Discover what matters most to you, and make your daily life into a true reflection of those ideas, beliefs, and attitudes."
This was the lovely sentiment emailed to me today for my birthday from Spark. Today I turned 27. I am neither happy nor upset about it, if that makes sense. I am not happy because it feels like another year where I should be "here" by now. But that "here" is an arbitrary notion of where I "should" be in life, made up completely in my head. And it's silly. I am not upset though because I'm still young and hopefully have many healthy years ahead of me, but with my health issues, I worry about it. I don't have the normal life expectancy.
From the sentiment, I wonder, do I put off things that are important and indulge in things that are not? What is important to me? My health, which I do exercise and try to eat healthy most of the time. I would say I am not putting that off. Do I indulge in things that are not? Yeah, probably. Like shopping, drinking, laying out in the sun...I don't know. Am I focused on my age? Like I said, I can get caught up in this silly notion, and I've blogged about this before, that I "should" be or have all these things by now...engaged, a bigger, chic apartment, Sex & the City type friends, etc. etc. Sometimes it really gets me down, especially as I get older and nothing has changed. Also, the fact that my worth is not measured in Facebook posts, or lacktherof, for my birthday. Why do I let these things get to me?
How can I make my life better? I struggle with this. I feel like I'm in a constant pursuit for self-improvement. I already try to exercise and eat well, I can continue that. I'm trying to train myself to be happier and not focus on the little things (mainly what I just mentioned above). I don't understand how to "live each day to the fullest" when you are so consumed with the daily grind of work, exercise, eat, sleep. How is that living life to the fullest?
As far as discovering what matters to me and "make your daily life into a true reflection of those ideas, beliefs, and attitudes." Easier said than done. What matters to me is my health, my cat, my bf/family/friends, and my passions, mainly travel and making jewelry. I cannot spend my life just making jewelry and traveling but at least I have the means to pursue them, as allowed given other life constraints.
Well this has been a bit of a downer blog. It's dreary and it's a Monday, doesn't the weatherman know its my birthday? lol. But, I should be happy because it IS my birthday! Time to celebrate me and being alive. I am grateful for all that I do have and accomplished in my 27 years, including beating the odds (speaking from health perspective), going after my dreams (getting a master's degree and moving down to the DC area, getting my own kitty), I have a wonderful bf who I know cares about me and doesn't deserve all this complaining (not to his face) about where is my ring, and I have a roof over my head and am able to afford the healthier foods I want to eat. I have a great job with a career-track. I have *some* friends. I've been able to travel to some pretty amazing places and I know I will do more.
I want to give myself the gift today of being on track, but I probably wouldn't say no to some bday indulgence. I have no idea if the bf has anything planned, say for dinner. This past weekend was bad, I went out with friends for some pre-birthday celebrating and didn't care what I ate. Nor did I exercise. But I did walk a lot. Just gotta stay on track as much as I can.