Thursday, May 30, 2013
So I was doing quite well with my overall programme and checked after a month notta nothing.....There's not a lot of exercises I can do for health reasons. About a year and a half ago I was doing aerobics at the YMCA 2 days a week and did Zumba dancing 2 nights a week. I was soooo ecstatic. The aerobics were low impact but Zumba was no slow pace. However i felt great after every workout but my short of breath and very red face should have been a clue to kick it down a notch. Did I do it nooooo. It was way too much fun. I went away for Christmas that year to visit my daughter and grandsons. They got a video called Dance 2. I was so on board for that too. The problem....when I wear my shoes or sneakers I wear orthotics. Well I was prancing around in socks and those dance moves really bothered my knees.
I left there and went to my other daughter's on my way back home from Christmas. So I heard they got Dance 2 for Christmas. The oldest boy then 8 challenged me and I picked one that I did a lot when i visited my other daughter....I WON....So he couldn't stand that gave me on that I huffed and puffed like the Big Bad Wolf in Little Red Hood. Depending on you're age you may not know that story. Again I did it on hardwood floors nothing to absorb the shock to my knees. I had to leave aerobics because the exercises started bothering my neck which was injured in a car accident a number of years ago. So I had to go through a procedure on my neck that tied me up for 3 months.
So this 62 yr old grandma did herself major damage but I still admit I'd love to do it again. So when I joined Spark I had to be careful with any exercise. Of course I get impatient do a difficult programme routine and suffer. Now the dilemma was just what do I do now. So I did what my disappointed self failed to realize and of all things I quit. For 2 weeks i ate everything I had gotten away from and was even more defeated then when I joined. I returned joined Spark Coach got the Book The Spark, The Spark Solution. Again I was eager to get to exercising again eat healthy and this time I'd see results Right? No. same weight and no change in measurement because unable to do a lot of the ones that can tone you up.
Does it bother me? Well of course it does. I've come to the conclusion too that I'm not the brightest light bulb in the batch. I decided I'm going to walk because i always loved walking and it doesn't matter how much it hurts I'm doing it. Hmm Does anyone have Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia....You guessed it down for the count exhausted....oh and if it wasn't enough that I pushed myself I started having knee probs after my exciting Christmas vacation last year. This Monday I see a knee surgeon.
Was all of this futile? Did I do this and now made myself worse than when I joined? You would think so. The other day I was at the drug store and they had the Lindt bars on 2 for 4 dollars. UMMMM sounds YUMMMY. I'm sure my alter ego stepped up because it was saying get it and the other one was no don't. What I realized at least I was having a conversation well in my head that caused me to at least think about it. Did I give in? I know everyone is holding the breath by now wanting to know....What I did was passed the big bars up and bought a very small tobblerone with well over half the calories and a lot more money for a little piece of bar that size.
This programme at Spark is Challenging me. Sometimes I over challenge myself and do my harm than good but I like the fact that I think it's not worth it. You're making healthy choices which my scale hasn't rocked one way or the other and I still have the rolls. It's interesting getting to know me, I mean the real me who doesn't want to listen to her body and thinks she has to lose 10 pounds at least by one month. Surely that's not very long. Well it has been long and it's a lot longer than a month. However there are days I'm truly exhausted because of the fibro and chronic fatigue and those days I don't have the energy to even think what I want to eat. So portion control of things I would normally limit on some food I can't even make those decisions. The scale hasn't budged but you know what? I'm still here and if it's 3 months or whenever my time will come. I will probably have to get off several times to make sure I read it right even if it's a pound.
It's my journey and we're trying to find our fit to make this not a quick fix just to lose how ever many pounds. The goals must be ones that we must live with from this time on. In Spark Coach tonight he basically asked why are you doing this....I realized I'd love to say my first thing inkling was to lose weight but it now goes deeper than that. My cholesterol is up and I have medical challenges. I want to be around for those precious grandsons and watch them grow up. So tonight I found out it's not all about the scale it's something bigger than me....It's about living and living longer. What's your reason? Look beyond the scale and realize you're more important than a number because they will drop...Are you learning more than just losing weight.....
Have a great Friday and let's keep our "Spark" glowing. God bless