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    CAROLYNL8E   15,810
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needing to vent


Thursday, May 30, 2013

Lately I have been feeling very tired and down. Had some bloodwork done and I am low on iron and my hemoglobin is low. I'm on iron pills now and am feeling a little energy creep back into me. Still feeling down because I'm too tired to exercise, and when I'm tired i eat like crazy. I've gained 4 lbs over the last two weeks. Tomorrow is supposed to be a nice day so I'm hoping to get out for a walk. We finally have some warm weather here in Ontario. I'm trying to focus on the present and only the present. The past has some bad stuff around this time of year, but this summer is going to be a great summer. I must be positive. I get embarrassed when I go outside in the summer because I can't hide under layers of clothes. I feel like everyone is judging me. My parents bug me all the time about how I look, my hair, my weight, my choice in clothes and the list goes on. I had them out of my life for 10 peaceful years but got weak and let them back into my life about 6 years ago. I regret it now, but my daughter is close to them and I don't want to take them away from her.

Today is really emotional for me for so many reasons. Depression, family, the past, and much more. Thanks for letting me vent.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
STEVEN2GO2 6/5/2013 9:01PM

    Sorry I am responding so late to this blog, I have been very busy the past week with a family celebration and emergency dental work. I feel bad for you that your parents are so judgemental of you, but I also feel you are doing the right thing for your DD to keep them in your life. You can not pick your relatives and you sometimes just have to bear down and deal with them the best you can. I am glad the weather is improving where you live so you may become more active and be able to drop some of the weight that creeped up on you.

Have a good rest of the week and maybe the weather will be good so you can enjoy your weekend!

Your MIA friend,
Steven

Wishing you emoticon

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KELLY19770 5/31/2013 12:43PM

    emoticon You are a strong lady!

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TINADEE86 5/30/2013 7:39PM

    Hang in there. You will make it happen in your own time! Take the Baby steps.You will get there. Hold your head up high and Smile! You are an awesome person. Don't let anyone bring you down! emoticon

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LOVELYPAMPA 5/30/2013 6:19PM

    Hang in there. It'll get better. And you're not alone in this. Come join with our team and let's support each other. When you're low on iron, we'll help you find healthier ways but in the mean time please make sure you take your supplement. I take iron supplement too whenever I'm low. And have you considered checking your Vitamin D3? Check it with your doctor as it'll help you feel better.
I understand about walking outdoors and people judging you. It may look that way, but my guess is that they're wondering and thinking 'Look at that person. Man, I wish I could be brave and walk like her.
I just started walking almost a month ago and it felt like that until I started to push myself. Now I just smile and keep walking. And I feel so much better!

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HFAYE81 5/30/2013 5:16PM

    I'm so sorry. It will get better...focus on you and be forgiving to yourself. No one can do and be everything to everyone. Be gentle, and baby steps. emoticon

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*RENEAT* 5/30/2013 5:11PM

    I hope you start to feel better. Take a deep breath and smile! This too shall pass!

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