Thursday, May 30, 2013
this morning there was a board about what they grow in their gardens, and i have to admit, i almost stole the board of what they were trying to do. they were talking about veggies and herbs. what they are growing in their gardens.
i just talked to my daughter last week about a weed she has. she stated she looked around, and she didn't see where anyone struggled w/this same sin she has. and i said--their yard, too, had a problem. just like the dandelions. our yard is packed with them. but the neighbors across the street is spotless of dandelions. they have thick, green, beautiful grass. they had the same problem we did. but they cared. we didn't. they hired someone to kill every single weed in their yard. they bought true, new, good stuff. we mow the flower portion off. we never get rid of ours. we just cut it down so that it blends and meshes with everything else in our yard. it is always still there! it is never killed at the root. not so with the neighbors. they see one once in a while, and they kill it.
and i? i was thinking of the garden festering with a lot of bitterness and rage. or is it not bitterness and rage, but justifiable anger, and i don't recognize it cuz i have just cleaned my house of those weeds?? i have no idea. but i know i have a wake and a funeral to go to. and i am full straight out anger. and i have no way to vent this, in a loving, gentle, kind, patient way. i have to figure out how to give this to God w/out losing my sanity or my religion. 2 tim 1:7. and 1 cor 13...
and really? my sin of boasting is really wanting to come out right now. i am amazed at how much that sin has been growing in me this past week. wow.