Thursday, May 30, 2013
Hubby is starting to say things that are sending up red flags for me.
I have started a new job recently. I love my job. I love what I do. I love the people I get to meet, those I can help. I love knowing I can make a difference in someones life.
But Hubby has a different image in his head.
The other day he told me he doesn't like that I travel out to the local reservation. It bothers him. I understand his concern for my safety, and if that was all I felt it was I wouldn't let the flags fly.
For some reason, I think it's more. I have families all over the place. Some in town. Some in the next town, and yes some on the reservation. At this point, all of my families are fairly easy to work with and very receptive to having me around. This is really helping to build my confidence in what I'm doing.
Tonight when I mentioned something about one of my families, Hubby made a face. I wouldn't let that bother me, but it's not the first time he's done that.
I wonder what he thinks I do? Maybe he figures I'm helping families, but only certain "types" of families. Like the neighbour who is overwhelmed and just needs a little help for a while so they can get back on their feet. You know the type. The kind of family that 99% of the time functions well and is struggling with something situational and they just need a little boost.
Yes, I do get some of those. But very much like the foster care system and the families that need it, I also see the whole spectrum of families. I am seeing the foster children who are not adjusting to the home and need the support. I'm seeing the parents who do not fully understand what adequate supervision really means and how to provide it. I have not seen the families who have alcohol/drug issues at work yet, but I have seen those personally and I do know they exist here. I've seen homes that are maintained my a "neat freak" stay at home mother. I've seen homes that are barely liveable for lack of cleanliness, but the family manages and are not capable of/interested in change.
Don't get my wrong. I'm not really judging or labeling. I'm just painting a picture of what's out there. It's not my place to judge. My place is to help the families I work with find a way to keep their family functioning at a level they are okay with. Often it's about finding what the family wants to see in their lives, and helping them find a way to get there. It's that simple. If the family wants home economics and an overhaul of how the household is run, I am there to help with that. If they are okay with the way the household is running but have issues with family dynamics, I'm there for that. Some contracts I'm only there for transportation. Whatever the family needs, I'm there.
I just wish Hubby could see. Understand that not all families run with a spotless house, owning their own home, a big yard, a picket fence, and a dog. Not all families even want that. Many of them just want to survive day to day and get through it without fighting. Or without feeling like the worst parents in the whole world because they have to work so much they feel like they are missing out on their kids. And yes, many of my families are less privileged that Hubby's family was. Having "things" and money doesn't make people happy. For me, feeling like you can make a difference in at least one persons life. That makes me happy. For the next person, maybe it's getting through the day without the kids constantly fighting. Maybe it's seeing the kitchen clean. Or just getting some time for personal care knowing your children are taken care of while you take that time for yourself.
I love to see what little things can make such a difference in some peoples lives. It helps me realize that despite everything, I really am lucky.
I just wish Hubby could understand this. It's so much harder when I feel he doesn't support me in what I'm doing.