So What Now?
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
About three weeks ago, I was inspired to start working out.. again.
I suppose a background is an order. I have always been very over obsessive about everything I do. It goes in cycles you see, I suppose to some people it would look as though I had never ending fazes. It can be anything, painting, eating, not eating, binge eating, exercising, reading, ect.. you name it. I have never been able to be consistent about anything and its very troublesome. However, I have been making steps to change this behavior (as much as I can without therapy in the meantime) So, three weeks ago a friend of mine asked me to start doing a crunch challenge. I started that and soon after I added the squat challenge. Since I am very motivated /obsessive what ever you would like to call it...I started adding different types of exercises to my ritual. It soon became unbearable because I was matching the numbers of sets to the exercises that I had been doing for my challenges. For example; first day of crunches was 20 then it went up by 5 each day till the rest day which had you go up by 10.So I went from working out for about 1 hour of my day , to 5 hours. By the first week I had added 8 different arm exercises , 5 leg workouts (including squats), the crunches (added reverse crunches) and Dancing for about 2-3 hours. I had become so consumed with adding something that I may have missed that my exercises started taking longer and longer. On top of that I had stopped eating regular meals and was only eating once a day. I kept staring at the mirror and looking upon myself so critically. I was unable to see myself or any changes. Then, the inevitable happens, I crash and sleep for about 16 hours. Which brings me here to sparkpeople. I realize that I really need a strict guideline for myself so I do not spin out of control. However I have had an account here several years before and in doing so I became over obsessive about the food calculator. I am really unsure of how to keep myself in check. I struggle with body dysphoria, depression and much more. I am currently not on any medication . If you are so inclined, I would love to hear some tips from whomever would like to contribute.