Wednesday, May 29, 2013
eh. today wasn't as good as yesterday. I was pretty tired, didn't feel like doing much of anything and my head ache was definitely worse. I also had an extra 2 year old in the mix and spent the whole day trying to get 3 toddlers to play nice so maybe that was part of it. I did manage to get in a 2 hour nap which was glorious. I still didn't really want to get out of bed when i woke up though. If i didn't have to do anything all day, this whole thing would be a breeze. At least I don't have to work though -- well i mean besides staying home with 2 kids all day which is way harder work than what i do at my actual job.
Anyway, i just ate repeats from yesterday. My meal schedule is a little off. I need to plan better. For lunch, i make the kids their lunch first. I wanted to get them eating this way too but i havent been brave enough yet to try so they're still getting bread and dairy etc. so by the time i get done dealing with them and thier needs and then prepare mine, its like 2. well actually today, i opted for the nap. otherwise i would have spent their whole nap cooking and eating and i was really tired. didnt sleep well again last night. so i didn't end up eating lunch until i work up which was like 330. As soon as i woke up, i went straight to the fridge and started eating watermelon. that was probably not a great choice as far as "slaying the sugar dragon" but i couldnt help myself. it was sooooooo good. maybe my blood sugar was low from letting myself get so hungry. then i had leftovers which are now all gone so i have to come up with stuff for tomorrow and i have no plans and im low on groceries. yikes!
in fact, i have to get creative for breakfast because we're out of eggs. So im doing a ground turkey, butternut squash skillet. whatever. i dont find myself having hard to deal with cravings yet. but i didnt when i was juicing either until a ways into it so i dont think im magically exempt. i think ill be dealing with it sooner or later. my daughter's 3rd birthday is next saturday. I'm sure that will be a challenge but im trying to focus on the here and now. i do feel a bit more peaceful about food now that im following a solid plan. i just have to not be bothered by the fact that im not getting any emotional enjoyment out of food. so far, im able not to dwell on it.
i am having a bit of a head trip about how much meat I'm eating though. Prior to Whole30, I'd done tons and tons of research and had basically decided that the healthiest way was to cut down on meats and get protein from other sources. Even Michael Pollen says meat should be used sparingly like a condiment. And whole30 is so similar to paleo which has always seemed to me like atkins with another name. So it feels very strange to be doing this thing which is the opposite to what i thought i should be doing. I've also been a victim of "paralysis by analysis" like the book talks about which is basically getting so overwhelmed with information and conflicting information that you don't know what to do. thats what happens to me all the time! and then i end up saying screw it, I'll just eat junk till i figure it out. The book also says scientific evidence can only get you so far and you just need to experiment on yourself and see what the results are so im definitely viewing this as a 30 day experiment and no one says i have to eat like this for the rest of my life. I'll re-evaluate when its over. and thats fine. i just hate that i have this nagging doubt and i wish i could justify WHY eating this way is healthy - i mean as far as the meat consumption. i would really like the whole30 people to sit down with michael pollen and a few other nutrition big names ive researched and hammer this out and then just give me the one right way. because its definitely the paralysis by analysis thing that messes with me. I just read this paleo article that was linked to from the whole9 website and it was saying you should eat mostly red fatty meat and organ meat with poultry and fish sparingly because of the high omega-6 content. !!! It's just so opposite what i thought was right. im having a hard time wrapping my head around it. and olive oil and avocado and eggs sparingly too. the the whole30 people are like go crazy with eggs and avocado!! i know you have to pick something that works for you and go with it but this is like my OCD thing. I want to know the BEST way, the RIGHT way. I at least want firm reasons to support what im doing. right now i just feel confused. im not saying screw it though like i usually do. im just going with the program and seeing whats what after 30 days but i really dont know what to do afterward!!