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A work in progress...

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

So I've been working on me for quite some time now! Since I started with SparkPeople in January 2012(?) I've lost 38 pounds or something of that nature...

I've started eating healthier. I've started exercising on a regular basis. I've been building up strength and endurance, something I've never had in 34 years... But it seems strange to me that these things appear to be easy to me, not like what I'm working on right now...

My goal is to be a healthier person. My body and my mind. But this is the difficult part. How do I forgive people? I've been working on this for months, with no resolution! I've read books. I've tried meditation. I've tried going back and remembering and trying to release emotions. I've gone to a therapist. But how do I not let the in-laws hurt what I truly am on the inside?

And I need to remember the positives! What have I gained from this 7 year struggle with them?

I've gotten back to living a healthy life. They can not determine what or when I put food into my body. I eat better, therefore, my body performs better, it is healthier, and I am happier.

I am physically strong. My body can weather any storm and I am proud of all of the hard work that I have accomplished. I hope to keep progressing forward with this...

I have built a stronger relationship with my husband, and I have faith that he will now defend me when the waters get tough with his family. I couldn't ask for more from him.

I have created a "normal" family for our daughter. She doesn't get normal with the in-laws, so I have done my best to create that for her. She has to live with what we have, but that doesn't mean our expectations should be any lower.

After all of this I am back to being confident that I am a good person. I don't do things with the intent to hurt people. I trust that I will make the best decisions that I can, given the circumstances. And I'm okay with that. They used to make me question that, but I know me, and I am good!

I am trying very hard to see the positive in everything. Positive attracts positive. I can't let them control how I behave and how I feel any longer. And that, my friends, is a work in progress....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm not sure if "forgiveness" is the right word in regards to your in-laws. Do they know that what they say/do hurts you? (I don't know the entire situation, sorry.) They may or may not. Despite either one, it's up to you to "cast it aside and move on." Easy? Absolutely not!

    A couple of sayings that has stuck out to me basically say,
    1) You can't make everyone happy, so stop trying and start living.
    2) Stop auditioning for other people's lives.
    3) If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so. Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay.
    4) The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone, and forgetting that you are special, too.

    I don't mean to sound harsh and you have to have a relationship with your in-laws because of your husband, but if they aren't willing to try...then let it go. Be civil, but don't go out of your way. Be polite, but don't kiss butt. Be respectful, but don't continue giving more than you are getting.

    In short, be the wonderful person that you are. If they can't see that, that's their issue. One thing I have learned is I don't have to make others' issues mine.

    Good luck and hand in there!! emoticon
    1719 days ago
    woohoo, great positives! I love reading about good changes people have made and how they are happier, etc. Thank you for sharing!
    1753 days ago
    You know, it's very easy to just say to someone "I forgive you" and continue having all the bad feelings inside us. Real forgiveness is a divine quality that takes too much strength and lots of practice. Human weaknesses and overwhelming emotions make it really difficult. But just the fact that you are really trying hard to make it happen, shows your quality as a person. That's what being a good person is all about. Trying. Letting your mind and your thoughts and your soul be a constant work in progress.
    1753 days ago
    1753 days ago
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