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    SDLEE514   18,291
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MY Motivation

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

As you can see, my daily stay on track blogs failed. This past Memorial day weekend was a wash. I ate out THREE times and didn't care to make healthy choices at any point. Plus alcohol. Where is my motivation?!

*side note* one of my closest friends from home, I guess you could say best friend, came down to visit and we had dinner Saturday; and she asked me to be her maid of honor!! I am very excited; I was expecting to be a bridesmaid but not the MOH. And while I am truly excited about it, I'm also nervous because I've never done it before and it will be costly given that we live so far from each other and I'm hoping it's not too stressful. She has a relative who is actually another MOH, I don't know how that works, but basically she wanted me to be but she couldn't not make her relative one, so two MOHs it is. They also decided to have a long engagement so hopefully I will have plenty of time to work all the details out. emoticon

I exercised on Saturday, went mini-golfing (so no exercise but at least I was out standing and about) on Sunday, and went to the zoo = lots of walking yesterday. I also did a little ST when we got back yesterday, but it wasn't much. All bad food choices. A burger. Sushi. Pizza. ugh. Yesterday I finished off my terrible weekend eating more of the leftover pizza (and DESSERT) when I wasn't even hungry. What is wrong with me?! Part of me just wanted it out of the house, but a part of my brain seriously struggled with "just make better choices the next time you eat something, you shouldn't eat unless you're actually hungry" vs "but it tastes good, you've been bad all weekend, you might as well finish it off and start again tomorrow." It is SUCH a struggle for me.

It got to the point where I was having serious food remorse and anxiety last night. I felt awful that I let myself eat all that pizza. I felt anxious and fat and doomed that I looked terrible and would gain my weight back and why couldn't I control myself. Needless to say, I still have a lot of work to do with my relationship with food and staying on track with this healthy lifestyle. Tips appreciated.

With that being said, I need to re-evaluate WHY I'm here. WHY it would be worth it to stay on track. What motivates ME, whether it is a selfish, narcissistic, or "legitimate" reason or not, the following is why I need to get back on track:

1. Because I want look fabulous at the wedding I'm going to in July
2. Because I don't want to keep getting food remorse/anxiety
3. Because I'm sick of gaining and losing the same few pounds over my official 10lb weight loss; I want to LOSE a couple more lbs and be consistent
4. Because I don't want to be embarrassed and self-conscious of my arms like in this RECENT (as in last week) photo:

5. Because I want to look as healthy and carefree as this (love her!):

6. Because I want to get this weight cycle and attitude toward food under control for all the things I have coming up in my life over the next few years (being maid of honor, other weddings I know I'll be going to, hopefully getting engaged myself...)
7. Because I want to rock any outfit I choose; for any occasion

I don't know how to make it all stick! Here's to one day at a time.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
GOLMAR25 5/29/2013 1:47PM

    I think you look adorable in that pic! And yes, take it one day at a time. emoticon

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RITEEBEE 5/28/2013 3:50PM

    You can do it!!

emoticon emoticon

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SQUIRRELLYONE 5/28/2013 3:35PM

    *disclaimer* I have no experience with disordered eating, so this is theoretical at best.

Almost 3 years ago I decided to have it out with my tongue. It was making all the decisions. Fries and salt & vinegar chips taste awesome. So do chocolate bars. So do a great many healthy things. The problem was, every time my stomach begged "No more!" my tongue wouldn't listen.

Excluding a few things which I now try to avoid buying (*cough* sour snowboards *cough*), I don't let my tongue make quantity decisions. My diet is now a democracy, rather than a tyranny of the tongue. If my tongue gets to weigh in on what I eat, but my stomach and brain get to dictate how much is consumed, and the tongue doesn't always win.

It's not shallow to want to look and feel great! It is, however, not cool that you feel down on yourself when you occasionally slip up! That, I don't know how to fix :(


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SUMMER2203 5/28/2013 3:16PM

    ugh i couldve written this myself haha! definitely an offtrack weekend, and it makes you kind of re-evaluate where you're at...but i think the fact that we are still here, and feel ready to get back to being healthy after a yuck weekend is HUGE. so let's put good foods in our bodies and workout and feel good this week :)

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BONOLICIOUS2 5/28/2013 3:13PM

    My advice to you, as someone who has recently been through a few weddings as "support staff" lol, Be RIDICULOUSLY honest with your friend up front. This is a happy time, a wonderful thing, but sometimes it can get out of control. I lost one of my close friends because I was her sort of maid of honor and it tore us apart ($400 dresses, a wedding at 3pm on a Friday hours from home... for starters!). Budget for it, but also don't be afraid to say "I can't afford that" or make some favors at home or ask the other bridesmaids for help - that's a big one. You have to know that you aren't in this alone!

Definitely let this fuel your motivation fires though! I think you look GORGEOUS, but keep envisioning the day where you will be next to the bride in a million and a half pictures - that should help!

I am also ridiculously struggling with my relationship with food. Blogging about it has helped, so maybe keep this up if you can? Otherwise I'm still looking for advice too lol, sorry I couldn't be much help there!

Good luck, you can rock 10 lbs. down like nobody's business. I believe in you too!

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ELISELOVE1 5/28/2013 2:53PM

    have you ever heared of tone it up girls ? they have wedding plan that's going on right now

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CHODGES83 5/28/2013 1:58PM

    I think we definitely need to give ourselves allowances at times. For me it seems to be in the planning. We eat out at least 3 meals each weekend that usually include alcohol. I just have to plan, plan, plan. I also have been trying to shake the "it's just one day, shake it off" mentality. Yes, shake it off if you over do it, because we cannot be on our best behavior 100% of the time. However, it takes a bunch of days to generate/maintain success.

Plan for success! You've got this!

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IRP1114 5/28/2013 1:09PM

    One day at a time sounds perfect emoticon

How exiting to be a MOH! emoticon

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CHERIJ16 5/28/2013 1:04PM

    emoticon emoticon

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FOXYPHAEDRA 5/28/2013 1:01PM

    Congrats on being asked to be a MOH! My sister wanted two MoH for her wedding as well, me and her college roommate, and since I always disliked the maid/matron distinction (based on whether or not one is married, totally patriarchal), I requested to be the Best Woman. I mean, there's a best man, why can't there be a best woman?!? And that's what I was, listed in the program and everything! :)

I think the pic of you is gorge, I see nothing at all to be embarrassed about. I wish I could wear that color.

I know you know one bad weekend won't ruin your progress. Just start today making healthy choices and you will feel better in no time!

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KNYAGENYA 5/28/2013 12:56PM

    You can do it. I have faith in you.

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