Monday, May 27, 2013
I woke up in a bit of a body funk today... just not feeling good about ME... either disliking self or in envy of others - BOTH being pointless emotions because nothing positive comes from either. SO let's just get up and get our butts to yoga. I did that. Still feeling not so great about myself though I had no reason not to! I was going to meet friend for coffee but she's having a super busy day. No worries, went to buy a vitamin B complex that I ran out of a week or more ago (I swear by vitamin B complex, especially when under stress). The store had moved, I had to pass a shoe store where in the window I saw a shoe that would be PERFECT with my bridesmaid dress for my sister's wedding so I went in, tried it on, fit beautifully, ON SALE, so I bought them. I had a lovely chat with the women at the vitamin store about the importance of vitamin Bs... and I wanted to ask them more questions but right now I'm just in a constant hurry so moved on. I thought maybe I could push my luck and went into H&M... and even though I had three dresses in my hand I put them back. I don't feel like trying anything on right now. I went to get a smoothie (because with the way I'm feeling today, and the sunshine outside, a smoothie just felt like it would make me feel better) and got on the train home.
Rereading this entry, it's obvious to me how much EVERYTHING is getting mixed up in my life right now. I'm stressed about my work so feeling bad about my physical self. When I give in to that, I start picking myself apart and feel worse about me in general, and then I want to eat... so I might eat something and then I feel bad again about my physical self and if I go to yoga or zumba I get stressed about not getting my work done and if I stay working I feel like I'm expanding in my seat and can't focus because I'm letting my stressed out mind go in various different directions. I just need to remember to breathe. I defend the dissertation in 10 days. I can keep this together for 10 days. Breathe, drink my water, eat mindfully, go to yoga even just twice per week... and start taking my vitamin Bs again!
Have a wonderful Monday, Sparkfriends!
I think I'm going to lay down for a short nap.