Monday, May 27, 2013
I have no idea what I'm doing. I have no idea how to climb this mountain. I'm lost in this sea of emotional eating and I can't seem to jump over this.
I've lived with this for so long that I am not sure if I know any other way of eating or living. My mother does it, my aunt does it, I don't know any other way. It's like a bad habit I need to break, like smoking or drugs. It grabs a hold of me and won't let go.
I've tried Herbal Magic. It helped me lose 40 lbs but in the end it didn't help at all with the mind set and i ended up gaining most of it back. I've tried Weight Watchers. It helps with the cravings a bit but only because I can actually have some of that stuff as long I as didn't go over my points.
I've tried going cold turkey but I end up going binge eating when I have a bad day and end up making myself sick. I've tried eating nothing at all but , as we all know that's not healthy either.
I have alot of craziness coming our way. The house we are renting is being put up for sale and we need to find somewhere else to live. So we decided to finally put an offer on a house , first time buyers, and I am a pack of nerves. Not knowing if we will be able to handle the amount of money that will be needed in the next few months. My husband works 5.5 hours north and he leaves for 3 weeks at a time but now that we are trying to buy he will be gone until August, packing on the Overtime. It will be hard doing everything alone. I babysit my 2 year old nephew that doesn't seem to get along with my 4 year old son. So constant fighting , hitting and yelling at each other.
I don't realize how much my shoulders can bear but it seems they are starting to sag a bit. I feel like crying all the time and miss my husband alot.
I'm hoping I can find some friends on spark people to help me on this tremendous hill I decided to climb ( though it may seem that it couldn't have been a more crazier time for me to do that) Trying to find some like minded people who have the same problems with emotional eating and long days with children as I do.
Hopefully I can get this under control because I'm not sure how much more weight my body can handle