Monday, May 27, 2013
Iíve definitely been struggling with mood lately. At first I thought it was just a particularly long and bad run of PMS (I definitely notice a change in my spirits for 4-5 days a month) but even after that fiiiinally Ďbrokeí I still felt irritated and headachey and tired all day. Iíve increased my vitamin B and iron intake and am trying hard to get more sleep (although I generally get my 8 hours plus some). I also have a few stress-reduction items on the go in hopes of improving things. I really miss the energy and joy I felt a couple of weeks ago, and I feel fortunate that I still have enough clarity to want to work to get that back.
So my sparkcoach challenge today was to write down three recent accomplishments that make me feel goodÖ it wasnít hard to think of them, which is nice even of itself, and part of the challenge was to put them into a blog entry. I feel a bit awkward about this, but I suppose in general my feelings about writing things for this blog include mostly the following options:
1. If I write about accomplishments I feel like Iím bragging and being obnoxious.
2. If I write about challenges or failures I feel like Iím complaining and being negative.
3. If I write about anything else I feel like Iím being boring.
I take comfort in the fact that nobody is being forced to read this, and despite the list above I do actually enjoy this more than I thought I would. It feels like light creative practice and an opportunity to reflect on things in a clearer and more retrievable way than keeping the thoughts in my head provides.
(She says as she rambles on about things that werenít the point of todayís entry.)
So here is some bragging about what Iíve accomplished recently!
1. Iíve been tracking my food and exercise on here for almost three months, and Iíve been very dedicated about it. I didnít think Iíd last three weeks, and I still feel energized and motivated to keep logging everything, even when I havenít made good choices. Iím going on vacation next week and I plan to come back here when I return and read this for a reminder of why I need to start up again right away. FUTURE ME: Take heed! You are a *much* happier and healthier lady when youíre paying attention to what you eat and how much you exercise.
2. I had a really fun band rehearsal on the weekend and I sang my first song as a lead vocalist. It has taken me an embarrassing number of years to get up the confidence to sing in front of these guys. I sounded a little nervous (voice, why must you be so telling?) but overall it was not too bad and I have to say Iím pretty proud of getting through it. Singing is something Iíve always wanted to be able to do but have had a huge, paralyzing anxiety about. I credit my weight loss with part of the boost in my confidence (I believe confidence begets confidence as anxiety begets anxiety). Someday maybe Iíll be able to perform for an audience ;)
3. I bought a condo about a month ago. I managed to save the money and work out how much Iíll need each month for payments and savings, and I feel pretty good about where things sit. I even had enough left after the closing costs to buy some furniture (my lower back loves me so much right now). Iíve also been saving money because of the healthier eating (smaller portions and fewer rich meals and snacks) so that has been helping me meet this goal as well.
So there you go. Hereís hoping success also begets success.