Monday, May 27, 2013
Well here I am again...yes, I said again. Day one. Day one. It's like looking out over a valley and you're standing on the edge of the cliff. Do I take the leap of faith or retreat into my comfy chair with my package of peanut butter oreos tucked under my arms? Hmmmmm.....
The truth is; I'm pretty upset with myself for allowing me to let myself go. And I did...and I went...and so did the body I was used to seeing. Now, not to say I didn't have some help...two c-sections are not exactly a tummy tuck!!!! But, there are things that I have done (and stressed over) to exacerbate my situation.
But as I sit here...blogging for the first time ever...wearing my work out gear, finishing my paleo-based breakfast and poised to get back into the gym. I'm reflecting on my accomplishments this year. I am about 8 lbs lighter than I was in January...I also conquered my fear of the gym and I lift weights right next to those kids young enough to be my own (sometimes you need to flick them off the weight benches). So, I have made some progress...just not as quickly or dramatically as my little brain would like!! I really, really want to be "sexy" (in my own mind) again...and look good for my boyfriend and be someone he's proud to be seen with on his arm (not that he's EVER told me any different - you know, I'm a woman...my mind THINKS things on its own....and I love to beat myself up...I'm working on that too).
This month I made another pact with myself - to remove negativity and negative people from my life. Almost immediately - as soon as I made that statement to myself, I felt relief. It's MY life...MY body...MY decision to be happy. I'm taking it....and I'm not stressing over the little things any more. (Okay - maybe a little...but, I'll get better with practice).