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    LOFLLAMA   52,536
50,000-59,999 SparkPoints

I have a CONFESSION to make!

Monday, May 27, 2013

I tend to over react. I know this is probably very hard to believe. I embarrassed myself with my last post, 'Days of Wine & Roses. Nights of Whiskey & Pansies!' Rather than just delete it like I warned I would, I just went down the list of my blogs & deleted them all. I didn't even read the titles! I just figured if I wrote them they were full of TOO much information & they needed to go!

I almost quit Spark. My friend Lynne called me & told me not to. I think she knows me pretty well even though we've never met in person.

In the couple of years I was on FB I unfriended more people than most people have as friends. Not because they were mean or bad. Most of them just because they didn't interact with me enough.

I don't own any year books from my days in school. I've probably had 20 living rooms full of knick-knacks that I've thrown away. I just get tired of looking at things. When Lenny first moved in with me I was having one of my insomnia nights & I packed up all the things in my living room & hauled it all down to the dumpster. The next morning he asked me what happened. When I told him he just said, 'Boy, I hope you never get tired of looking at me. I'd hate to wake up in the dumpster.'

Most of it I don't regret. I do wish tho that I hadn't thrown away 99% of my artwork & writings. I wish I kept Mikhail's keepables. I do have things like his stuff like baby books, locks of hair, baby teeth. I got rid of things like first hand writing, drawings, etc. I have gotten better about this the last few years though because HE wants me to keep them. Even tho it goes against my nature I do it for him because well, he is Mikhail!

I have a couple of quilts & a handful of pictures from when I was a kid. That's it. My BFF friend Marla did the same thing. Her boyfriend used to put it in big black bags & hide it from her. A few months or years later when she was regretting it Dean would bring it back out for her. She always said it was like Christmas.

The bad thing about my blog entries though is that once I pushed delete they were gone! Just gone. Oh, well. Just one more thing I can say good-bye to. That's okay. I have plenty more in my head to share! If only for an hour!
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CURRAHEE68 8/5/2013 12:57AM

    Sorry you deleted so much of your story. But I can get what you write now. Have lots to read to catch up to August, so don't delete me too soon.

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DIANAOR1 5/31/2013 6:16PM

    I'm glad you're not leaving. Besides, I would not be able to read your blogs, lol. By the way, cleaning house is a good way of decluttering. It could be an indication that you have too much on your mind.

Diana~ emoticon

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LOFLLAMA 5/31/2013 12:22PM

    Thanks Everyone! emoticon

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OWENZZOO 5/30/2013 4:38PM

    I'm glad you are still here too! This team needs you even if it doesn't feel like it.

Anna emoticon

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CYDONIA83 5/29/2013 3:19PM

    You know I do the same things too with my blogs... not on spark but elsewhere... and with everything I own too ... I just did not realize it till I read this blog of yours... you have so much insight and that's a good step... its like solving half of the problem already ... good job... I really like you... I like how you cope with it all....keep it up girl... and be strong... and celebrate with your friends.. they love you and they're here for you .. to support you. I am here for you too !

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BARBIEE52 5/28/2013 11:45PM

    I am so glad you did not leave spark. I would have been so sad. You have been such an inspiration to me, and hoping I can give back what you already have given me. You are special. I just started throwing, or giving away, rather, clothes, knick knacks that have NO sentimental value, and it feels sooooooo good. emoticon emoticon Take care, good friend!!

Comment edited on: 5/28/2013 11:46:08 PM

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LADYGARGOYLE 5/27/2013 8:37PM

    that is something I have been afraid of too, sharing too much or at least more than I want to. emoticon emoticon

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CHERYLE51 5/27/2013 5:48PM

    You throw away everything and I keep almost everything. My daughter and DH are really bad. They hold onto everything.

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MARILYNROBERT 5/27/2013 12:29PM

    I'm glad YOU are still here. emoticon

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SUPER_CIARA 5/27/2013 11:11AM

    Well, you can think of it as a fresh start! I'm glad you didn't leave Spark. Would miss you terribly! emoticon

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ASOBFALLS 5/27/2013 10:07AM

    Love yourself today. emoticon

What we do with our 'stuff' is probably an indicator of how we feel about ourselves.
I hold on to my 'stuff' to show I am a worthy person. When I should be looking at Jesus.
See my Blog about being a Princess.

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KESTRYLL 5/27/2013 9:07AM

    Thanks for sharing, loved your blogs!

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