Sunday, May 26, 2013
Okay, the social gathering that was supposed to be so fun, wasn't. Again. We have a neighbor who is very overweight. She is certainly nice enough, I guess, and her kids are great. I don't know her husband well, but he spends time in the yard and with the kids. This woman is hard to like.
She seems to think that the rest of us are blessed with thinness. I don't think the other women think much about their weight. We all vary in size, I'm the smallest. And we certainly talk about food, what we make, what the family likes, what's on sale where. But this one woman is combative to the point of rudeness. "Here", she'll spit at me, "You can eat as much of this as you want". Huh? I've tried to tell her that I used to be fat but she doesn't believe it. I think she believes someone made up the Civil War just to give her something to have to be tested on.
We don't see her as the Fat Neighbor, but as the truculent neighbor. She seems to think that all we see in her is her weight, which is hardly true. She has a nice house and lots of books, so she reads. She and her family take trips to interesting places, yet she thinks that her weight is the only thing that defines her. Frankly no one gives her weight a second thought, but we sure do see her attitude, and it's kind of irritating to have someone think that we just go around judging people by their weight. I am probably the only woman on the block who is thinner now than on my wedding day, but that's from hard work, and the only person who should care about that is me. Others may have other stories, but it's not something we talk about.
The woman needs Weight Watchers, not necessarily because I think she should lose weight (that is entirely up to her, I don't care), but because at least she would have one place to be where she doesn't have to assume that automatically antagonistic attitude, and maybe she could find out how freeing it is not to have to protect herself from imagined criticism. The chip on her shoulder is heavier than she is, and THAT is what we see.