Sunday, May 26, 2013
So, I have for a long time felt uncomfortable with my excess weight. Recently, I have lost enough to have a "healthy" BMI...barely. I have been very happy with this success and have though that that would somehow change everything. Turns out, the only change is that my doctor may not comment on my excess weight anymore. Recently, I found out that my doctor and I are not the only ones that thought I was overweight. My boyfriend (with metabolism that made him never worry about something like this in his life) told me that I'm "big" and could "improve a lot of areas" of my body. And when I got upset, he commented that I always say I'm fat and why wouldn't he adopt the same mentality when that is how I talk. I didn't realize that all the comments that I make about my less than confident view of my body would sink in for other people as well. And worse I think I said it so much to him, that it seemed like an OK thing for him to comment on. I never realized how much my complicated view of myself really took a toll on our relationship.
Given my recent revelations I will: a.) continue to work on weight loss and b.) not involve other people (at least those that can't empathize with my situation) I love in my emotion problems with my weight and food. I guess c.) would that I am going to try to have a better view of my body and really focus on my success of having lost 45 pounds since my heaviest. That is a great achievement. I do still have a ways to go before I will wear a bikini, but I am proud of what I did accomplish.