Sunday, May 26, 2013
Well, I'm starting the Whole30 tomorrow (check out whole9life.com for more info) and I'm excited and terrified. Excited because I've read and heard from people amazing things about it from weight-loss to getting rid of cravings to better sleep to more energy. All of those are obviously issues for me and I'm so desperate to feel energy again at this point, its either this or a cocaine habit. Ever since I first watched Food Inc and Food Matters, a few years ago now, I've been looking for a way to change my relationship with food and that's the reoccurring theme I keep hearing with the Whole30. But I keep having setback after setback and losing the battle with my addictions over and over. I feel like I've tried everything - moderate small changes over time and drastic things like juicing fasts. Sooner or later, I keep going back to eating junk. Who knows, maybe after these 30 days are up (please God, hopefully not before) I'll give in again but I've got to keep fighting and I've got to keep looking for something that will work for me. Despite the setbacks, i do still believe I can be successful. I'm really optimistic that this can work for me.
I'm terrified though because i know it will require work and commitment on my part. When I first heard about Whole30 from RYDERB (who's had great success with it), I didn't think it would be a big change from when I was eating really clean and making everything at home from scratch but the more i thought about it and researched, the more i realized it will be a challenge. I've never tried to prepare 3 meals a day without the use of dairy, grains of any kind, natural sweeteners or relying on juice or smoothies as quick meal replacement. Especially X's 3 because i cook for 3 other people. And to be honest, it's been awhile since I was cooking anything from scratch regularly.
I've been on a junk food bender for like 2 weeks since I crashed and burned with juicing (again) so i know the caffeine/carb withdraw is going to be BRUTAL. And my husband is coming along for the ride this time around which is a blessing and a.... well it will definitely pose its challenges. He is always saying he wants to eat healthier and that he feels crappy all the time. He suffers from the same brain fog and energy slumps as i do. And he is a coffee addict. But really its the sugar he's addicted to. He has 2-4 cups a day with more sugar than you'd ever believe and he has never tried to give it up with any conviction. He wouldn't attempt juicing with me because his job is so labor intensive that he didn't think he'd be able to function but whole30 is very different and he really has no excuse. So I'm excited to get him on board but i know how grumpy he can be without coffee. Lord help me. It's gonna be rough till we both get through the withdraw but i do believe it will be worth it. We both know we are not in a good place with our relationship with food. The Whole30 book "It Starts With Food" has shown me just how messed up that relationship is in terms of what its been doing to my body. It really has put a lot of the pieces of the puzzle together for me. At least I think so. I guess I can't say for sure until I've done the 30 days myself. But all the issues I've been having with poor sleep, irregularity, mood swings, extreme pms, low energy, abdominal discomfort, brain fog all seem to stem from the way the body is affected by improper nutrition. It seems so obvious now but it really didn't add up for me in such concrete terms until i read all the science-y stuff in the book about how dairy and gluten etc affects your hormones and gut etc. And I can absolutely identify with the majority of it. So if the whole30 people were able to nail how I'm feeling now and affected now so well, then i've got to give them the benefit of the doubt that it can be fixed by following their program. Doubting it is not my problem actually. It never is. It's consistency. But I'm really going to give this my best shot. I'm even going to put the scale away. Because i know the scale makes me freak out. If it doesn't do what i think it should, i lose it. Every. Time. So this time, I'm just going to remove it from the equation. I'm just going to commit to the whole 30 days regardless of how i feel in the mean time and reevaluate everything then.
I'm even hoping to get my kids in on it. They eat better than probably most kids. They go to montessori school now where everything is non-processed and sugar is minimal and they are pretty good about eating vegetables. They get a ton through smoothies and juice but they also have a lot of pasta and bread and "treats" at home. I really don't want them to grow up having the same dysfunctional relationship with food as i do.
So here I go. Off on another tangent or quest or however you want to look at it. I've been looking at recipes for days now. Planning it always my downfall and unfortunately its not only sticking to a plan that's a struggle for me. Its also coming up with a plan. I have all the good intentions in the world but not an organizational brain cell in my head so far my meal plan is a breakfast recipe to get me started and a few dinner ideas that i don't have groceries for. I hope I can get it a little more solid today. I know i keep saying this but I'm so ready to feel good again. RYDERB and the other stuff I've been reading from people on the whole9 website is giving me a lot of hope. I need to let go of all the self condemnation and just start where i am.
If you've done the whole30 before - I'd love any tips or recipe/meal plan suggestions or just general inspiration!!