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    DREAMCREATOR   13,047
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New Beginnings

Sunday, May 26, 2013

I made huge steps in just 24 hours. I actually took pictures of myself and looked at them. I hate to see pictures of myself. When I was slender and attractive I had a supremely poor body image. If you look at family pictures ( and I have recently) I am always hiding. If your lucky you'll see my face but probably not. Gaining weight became a self fulling prophecy. I would look in the mirror at 125 lbs and say (to myself) your are so fat. Pretty soon I would have gained back the weight I had lost and more. This led to more self punishment. So many imagined sins. I feel sad for that me, looking back I missed so much of my life punishing myself with food because in my mind I wasn't perfect. Several years ago I read a great quote on a website ( I wish I could remember who and where so I could give credit) BETTER DONE THAN PERFECT. My goal is to live the rest of my life by this moto. I hope that I can remember it is the journey and living that is important not the small things that I tend to blow up and have ,in the past, let hold me back
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DREAMCREATOR 5/26/2013 4:23PM

  Thanks for the positive response. It really helps

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POSEY440 5/26/2013 3:47PM

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STRONGERLEANER 5/26/2013 1:11PM

    I hide from the camera as well. I think I don't want it documented that I was ever as large as I have been.
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Then I realized that I was almost erasing myself by doing this. When my son goes back to look at pictures, of events, vacations, outings, he'll wonder why I wasn't there. However, I WAS there, just hiding.

We have to learn to love ourselves at all the stages and sizes. My family and friends are larger and smaller, more fit and less fit, more active and less active, but I still love them, regardless.

We have to have that same love for ourselves.
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TLG71567 5/26/2013 10:48AM

    We have to stop beating ourselves up for not being perfect. We have to stop waiting to live until we are skinny. We all deserve to live life and be happy. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to others. Remember progress, not perfection. emoticon

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TORTISE110 5/26/2013 10:26AM

    Being really honest with ourselves is so key to Spark success. Congratulations on taking those photos. But more importantly congratulations for being aware of how hard you have been on yourself for years! Somewhere on Spark I read about embracing our old and younger selves for working so hard, trying to do it right, and struggling so much. I thought that was right on.

I admire the work you have talked about here! You have courage.

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