25,000-29,999 SparkPoints 29,020

Keeping myself honest

Sunday, May 26, 2013

The past few days have been a mess. I was down in weight a few days ago, but let Friday and Saturday throw me for a loop and now my scale is back up there. I realize that it is not "real" and that I can get it right back off, but it just makes me wonder why the heck I do these things to myself.

One of the things I am trying to do right now is curb (quit) the smoking. I am so afraid to, as everyone I know that has quit or is quitting is just packing on the weight, even though they are trying to keep their eating normal and some have even started making healthier choices. This scares the crap out of me. While I realize that a gain of a few pounds outweighs the health risks of smoking, it doesn't work that way for me right now. There's no need for lectures or stats or anything else, as I know them all. My mindset is my mindset and weight gain is really not acceptable.

This is my plan...I am going to use this forum to keep myself honest. In order to know if the eating is staying on target, I MUST log everything I put in my mouth. I must also log my workouts. I tend to find that I haven't worked out in two days (as I just did), without even realizing it. I also need to be honest about how much/when I smoke. I am not using anything to do this. The Chantix really messes up my stomach, even though it "worked" before (I didn't). The patches make me itch and such. I don't want to continue with the nicotine addiction, so I am just trying it alone. Besides, when I failed at quitting before, I always used the pills/patches as an excuse. If I don't have those to blame, it is all on me.

I will blog daily to acknowledge my weight (yes, I weigh daily), eating, smoking and exercise, as well as my mood. I will, most likely, edit it throughout the day, to keep it up to date. I need to keep track of the supplements I am taking and everything, so that I can adjust accordingly. It is helpful that I have another profile being done on Wednesday. That will help me to stay motivated with my workouts until then and to give me a legitimate ground for how the smoking affects me.

Anyhow, that is my plan. These are probably going to be amazingly boring or they may contain information that you don't really want to read. You've been warned. lol

Update: Murph WOD (1 mile run - 100 pullups - 200 pushups - 300 squats - 1 mile run) done. Eating was mostly good, but had popcorn that isn't logged in the evening. smoked 8 cigarettes. I am not feeling so great about that, but it is better than I had thought I would do. I wish there wasn't another smoker in the house. It isn't that I am blaming him, it would just be easier for me! lol Weight after workout/shower was 146 (2lbs higher than a few days ago, but that is okay for now.). Did horrible with water!
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Well.. been there done that..

    1. I log my food everyday... everyday.. no matter what
    2. I quit smoking cold turkey April 1 (because I thought it was an appropriate day to quit).. haven't cheated at all since and am finally not following close behind people smoking so that I can get a wiff LOL
    3. I weigh daily and have enjoyed getting to know how my body works (but I'm .. well.. uhhhhh let's just say I weigh a helluva lot more than you.. but someday.. )
    4. I blog.. a lot... with the intention to a) keep myself honest and b) hopefully help someone else along the way.. interestingly, I did not blog about my quitting smoking... and will not.. I'm paranoid like that LOL

    Congrats on doing MURPH!! That is just freaking awesome... I hope to do a full Murph in two years... yes, it will probably take that long.. and I'm okay with it..

    I think you go this girl!
    1758 days ago
  • _VALEO_
    You have to follow what it is right for you, and if it is not the right moment, let it be.

    Can't wait to read your "boring" stuff! emoticon
    1760 days ago
    Good luck. I love the list on your Spark Page, so true!
    1761 days ago
    1762 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.