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    XANGELSTEARZX   34,461
SparkPoints
30,000-39,999 SparkPoints
 
 
Selective food guilt...

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Best way to sum up what I apparently suffer from. I carefully count things like calories and carbs. I try to keep my fat down or make healthy fat choices (olive oil or coconut oil because vegetable oil is the devil). I often catch myself severely chastising myself if my meals/snacks aren't up to my new set standards. Like if I slip up once I'll instantly revert back to 350lb. While I know it won't...I still guilt myself for it and punish myself appropriately. Unhealthy probably...but, it's working to make me skinnier...

Now, all that being said...I find that I have virtually no food guilt for things that I honestly shouldn't consume...come to think of it....the major foods I have problems with are so processed and chemical laden no one at all should eat them...they shouldn't even be made (yeah, that's it...because then I'd never have to worry about them). Anyhow...today I was offered about a 4x2 end slice of chocolate sheet cake with white icing complete with icing flower. I gladly ate it and stopped myself short of licking the plate. I gave no thought to the amount of calories or crap in that yummy junky chemical laden store bought cake....or for that matter what it'll do to my blood sugar or my health in any way.

This behavior coming from me...the weirdo that has developed a grape counting habit. Heaven forbid I log 23 and I really ate 25. Pow, 350lbs and the world will end....I swear it.

Did I get some guilt from logging it honestly? Yes, I did. Would it stop me from doing that again? Probably not. Will I make an informed choice and following serving size next time? Also, probably not. Will I continue to count grapes, weigh and measure my fruit, veggies, meat, and grains? Yes. I guess no matter how far I've come I'm still a work in progress with a long way to go.
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BECCAZEN7 5/26/2013 3:38AM

    Next time - tell yourself that eating that piece of cake will POOF you back to 350 and see if that works to quell the inner beast. (prolly not, but hey, worth a try). LOL.
You are cracking me up with the "grape counting" - ha!
No worries, I bet the calories will even out over time but hopefully it didn't give you the "sugar" let down that I get after eating something sweet. It really does a number on my blood sugar to eat sweets and I have to balance it with a protein (I try to run the opposite direction if I see a yum yum).
Just talk to yourself as if you were giving a fellow sparker advice on what to do in this situation. It helps me be nice to myself when I "mess up".
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Becca
Missourians! Team

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MYUTMOST4HIM 5/25/2013 8:24PM

    I know what ya mean - I have to tell myself "Just because you don't log it doesn't mean ya didn't eat it" so I log it and cringe emoticon

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