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SUNSHINE65
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Late Fight Nunnies

Friday, May 24, 2013

I love what IRS commissioner Steve Miller said today about this whole targeting conservative groups thing. He said, ‘Mistakes were made, but they were in no way made with a political or partisan motivation.’ Yeah, ‘Mistakes were made’ – try saying THAT during your next IRS audit. -Jay Leno



It was just revealed that the Department of Justice secretly recorded the phone calls of AP journalists for two months. Obama promised reporters that the incident will be immediately investigated – by the Department of Justice. -Jimmy Fallon



President Obama’s right in the middle of three scandals. The IRS ratting out people it doesn’t like. Benghazi, number two. And they say Obama has been phone tapping the AP. So three big scandals. Here’s what I prefer: Weiner and Spitzer. Now those are scandals my writers can really work with. -David Letterman



Some Republicans are saying that due to his current scandals, President Obama should be impeached. In response, Obama laughed and said, ‘Two words fellas: President Biden.’ -Conan O'Brien


A college student in Georgia was worried that his parents would be mad at him for flunking English. So he tried to fake his own kidnapping. The parents figured it out when the ransom note said, 'We has your son.' -Conan O'Brien



Arnold Schwarzenegger has announced he will star in a low-budget horror movie called 'The Toxic Avenger.' He wreaks havoc. He's a monster. I have no idea what he'll do in the movie. -Craig Ferguson



A 19-year-old student in Lawrenceville, Georgia, was failing English and he didn't want to tell his parents about it. So he faked his own kidnapping. He texted his parents and said he's been abducted. It sounds like a terrible Liam Neeson movie. -Jimmy Kimmel
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