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    STEELKICKIN   28,911
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I'm In Here Somewhere

Thursday, May 23, 2013

This is a rare moment for me.

As of right now, the phones aren't ringing, the emails are silent. Texting is at a minimum with short reminders from my children who want me to know they love me. Work has loosened its grasp on me and I am enjoying the solitude of a quiet evening at home. "Enjoying" is perhaps not the word...possibly "tolerating" is the correct term as I am feeling foreign and out of place in these four walls as I tap out these letters on this keyboard. My writing deadlines have been met, the bills have been paid and I have cleaned my house, done the laundry, utilized the hours to accomplish all other menial tasks that my racing mind can think of...

Channel-surfing left a bad taste in my mouth after I stumbled on an episode of "Ancient Aliens" and couldn't take my eyes off of Giorgio A. Tsoukalos' hair. I also spent about fifteen minutes on TotallyFreeCrap.com and entered my home address for a free sample of Metamucil and a UFC poster for my daughter's boyfriend. I tried to get an Air Wick deodorizer for my car but they were out of it. (I knew I had to "get a life" when I shouted, "Eww! You gotta be KIDDING me!!!" out loud and scared the bejeebers out of the cat.)

No. I'm not sure if idle time is right for me.

Pffff. Maybe I'm feeling melancholy for days gone by. Perhaps I'm a little ticked off that I don't have more days like this to chill out and do my "thang." So, I'm trying to push everything into one day and watching the time ignite in a burst of bright light then fizzle with each passing minute. Didn't I just wake up, stretch and feel the excitement for the hours to come only to realize it's almost 11 p.m. and I can't remember if I took my CoQ10 and Resveratrol?

Maybe I'm pouting because my daughter is home from college for the summer but she left for the evening to spend some girl-time with her BFF back at the university. You all know my Bre is my shining star, my angel, my reason for believing that life is gorgeous, awesome and full of never-ending hope. When she is here I can weather everything from a crazy-looking spider on my back deck to the craziest of life's dilemmas. But in her absence I am a certified lost soul that misses the most beautiful accomplishment/gift in my life...

I need to change my ticker. It's off by about 20 pounds. And not the "good" 20-pound-end of the spectrum either. My schedule permits "Eat and Run." Okay, that is a load of bullcrap and you and I both know that. I've switched over to "sugar-free" products and DID get in a couple of hikes the last few days but I need to re-prioritize my needs in the nutrition department. Easier said than done but since when have I ever done anything easy?? Am I willing to let that aspect of my life fall by the wayside? Right now, I can't think. I'm too busy watching the clock tick away my last few moments of "freedom."

I don't want to spend them on the treadmill.

What I really want to do is text my daughter and tell her to be careful with her BFF, watch out for creepy guys and stay away from the hookah. And to remind her to lock her car doors, use the deadbolt on her apartment door and make sure her fire alarm has new batteries. I want to call my husband on his last break and tell him to watch out for deer along the highway as he travels home. I want to finish putting the photographs in my new photo album and run my fingers across the faces of my sisters as they smile back from the pictures and cherish the memories of last year's vacation on the beach.

I may not be able to respond to each of you personally right now, the ones who have left comments on my page, sent me beautiful, heartfelt goodies and left me Sparkmails. But I want you to know that they have all come at a very good time during the hustle and bustle of my life. I check my correspondence on my phone religiously and each word has kept me grounded, kept me connected to my "roots" on here. I deeply appreciate you. I miss you. And you still and always will have a very large place in my heart.

God bless you all.

You are loved.


(That is me on the right. My heart is on the left. May 22nd, 2013.)


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JADOMB 7/27/2013 4:50PM

    I'm still here with you too. Life just tends to take us in odd directions sometimes and leaves us wondering, WTH. Cheer up though, you are loved and that is what matters.

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SHARON10002 6/6/2013 11:53PM

    Michelle, so good to see you here again! I've missed you and your blogs!
Hope you are feeling okay. Love the picture of you and Bre!
By the way, everyone deserves to "idle for awhile". . . emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/6/2013 11:55:06 PM

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JERMADSON7 6/1/2013 2:13PM

    Love the pic. Gorgeous as ever. Both of you.

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GEEMAWEST 5/28/2013 12:15AM

    Love you!! and your blogs!!

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KONRAD695 5/27/2013 11:56AM

    I love your writing. Thanks for another blog.

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TRIANGLE-WOMAN 5/26/2013 9:30PM

    emoticon emoticon

Miss your blogs!

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BLAKBIRD 5/26/2013 12:36AM

    emoticon

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TRENTDREAMER 5/25/2013 2:09PM

    " (I knew I had to "get a life" when I shouted, "Eww! You gotta be KIDDING me!!!" out loud and scared the bejeebers out of the cat.) "
* Oh, gosh. I WISH my life was that exciting.

"Pffff. Maybe I'm feeling melancholy for days gone by. Perhaps I'm a little ticked off that I don't have more days like this to chill out and do my 'thang.'"
* Or maybe your just getting to that "I'm bored because the day has run it's course feeling". I get those at the end of a low key day.

"I've switched over to "sugar-free" products and DID get in a couple of hikes the last few days but I need to re-prioritize my needs in the nutrition department."
* Best of fortune to you!

" But I want you to know that they have all come at a very good time during the hustle and bustle of my life. I check my correspondence on my phone religiously and each word has kept me grounded, kept me connected to my "roots""
* Miss you as well.




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BKNOCK 5/25/2013 12:43PM

    Nice to read a blog from you again! You both look great! emoticon

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DJ4HEALTH 5/25/2013 1:15AM

    She just looks just like you!!

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CARTOONB 5/24/2013 11:36PM

    Hi!

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WALLAHALLA 5/24/2013 9:40PM

    You both look as beautiful as ever.

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KIMCOLLINGS 5/24/2013 12:25PM

    Have missed you. It's good to hear what you've been up to. By the way....you and your daughter look more like sisters that mother-daughter! You look amazing!

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ARUNNINGKAT 5/24/2013 12:08PM

    So good to hear from you! I have definitely missed seeing your smiling face on my friend feed! Beautiful photo!

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JOHNTJ1 5/24/2013 10:03AM

    Like sands through the hour glass so are the days of our lives....
It was good to hear from you!

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OLDERDANDRT 5/24/2013 9:29AM

    Michelle, You are as beautiful as ever!! Inside and out! Love that pic of you with Bre! It is kind of sad to have "free time" slip away so fast. The busier we are, it seems the faster the "down" time goes!
Just glad to know y'all are ok.
Nice blog and it came at a great time to let me know that you ARE ok!!
I know, that by now, your regularly scheduled mayhem has started again, but I wish you a super great day! Here's hoping all goes smoothly and expeditiously so maybe you can unwind better this evening and enjoy some time with Bre.
(((HUGS)))
Jayne

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DOVESEYES 5/24/2013 4:36AM

    Glad all is ok then :)

Thinking of you too... emoticon

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KING_SLAYER 5/24/2013 2:37AM

    I just had a weird thought about a mother / daughter/ strange guy from the internet hot tub party... pictures of pretty girls do that to me sometimes.

Ahhh, Giorgio... "ALIENS!". That hair just keeps getting crazier each year.

Take care of yourself sweetie, however you need to do it. Whether it's better food, or more running / walking, make sure that you're doing it for you.

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BRADMILL2922 5/24/2013 12:40AM

    You are loved! But I know you have heard that about a million times from me but it is as true today as it ever has been...even if you don't venture around these parts as much.

Still going to need some birth certificate evidence one of these days that the two of you aren't sisters! I'm still not completely buying the whole mother/daughter thing! :) But that is a really great picture of you and your baby!

That is good to hear that you have gotten back into some hiking here recently because I know how much you love to do that. I hope that you have much more time and many more days this summer where you are able to get out and stomp around your grounds!

You are the best and you are loved Michelle, always!

emoticon


Comment edited on: 5/24/2013 12:40:56 AM

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AJDOVER1 5/23/2013 11:58PM

    So good to see you! Love that picture.

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CHERIRIDDELL 5/23/2013 11:42PM

    WHat a lovely photo! So glad to hear from you!

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