Thursday, May 23, 2013
The other day I was having a discussion with my mom and like always body image and weight came up. I was talking about how I wasn't that happy with the weight that I've put back on. I don't like the NUMBER. It's not really about how I look and definitely not how I feel I just hate the numbers. I have been trying to do the whole "No Weight May", well I've cheated a few times. For the past few weeks my weight hasn't moved, which I guess it's a good thing it hasn't increased but with my eating and working out it really seems like it should have.
Anyways, I got to thinking "Why do I need to weigh less?" What does that number really represent? Does it make me more beautiful to weigh less? Does it make me any less fit to weigh more? I mean I still work out just as hard, probably harder than I did at my low weight. Do I have more flab on my stomach than I would like, yeah of course and I'm sure I always will. But you know what; I feel so much more alive now than I did when I was skinnier. I know I am stronger and I also know that I don't feel like death every night. I don't get dizzy spells like I used to; my hair is growing back in and my skin doesn't look so pale. Yeah there is extra meat on my bones, my pants are a bit tighter, but really I feel so AMAZING.
Those days when I get down because my pants don't hang like they used to, or my NUMBER on the scale is higher I remember that I am HEALTHY which is so much better than SKINNY!