Thursday, May 23, 2013
I am strongly opinionated. If my waist size decreased at the rate my mouth ran, I would not be uncomfortable in my size 16 petite jeans.
Yea, I'm feeling bad today about my body. Well, some of it. I feel good about my legs - they're looking pretty good, I think. But I'm feeling bad about the size of my mid-section. That's bothering me. I'm tired of my pants being tight, but I don't want to go up to another size. Because my self worth will decrease if I do that. Isn't that a shame?
In any case - I'm still doing what I was setting out to do, and we'll see how it goes. It's only a few weeks. I have a feeling it's not going to go well, but we'll see. I'm eating at a calorie range that is high for Sparkpeople, but not according to other recommendations. Sparkpeople's calorie range is too low for me - I don't stick with it long term. Never have.
So, part of what brought on this blog was this article from Rachel Cosgrove. She's a trainer who recently wrote a book "Drop Two Sizes." Alwyn Cosgrove, who was the trainer who has come up with all of the New Rules of Lifting programs, is married to Rachel. On the NROL4W FB page, initially people knocked the book, because it has a pretty dumb name, and a ditzy, hopping, skinny looking model on the cover. Alwyn said that this book is what NROL4W would be if he wrote it today.
Here is the link to the article:
I don't know about you, but... methinks she protesteth too much. Here she picked another model, but Women's Health (a large media outlet set to make money by having women feel badly about themselves to they'll buy their product) said "No, she doesn't connect to our target audience." Target audience? You mean to say that we need a model who is skinny and airbrushed so women feel bad about themselves and buy this book instead?
Here is my comment on the FB page. Everyone was like "Yea, great article, great article" and I'm like "Not so fast!" Of course.
"You are all gonna hate me for saying this... but...
That image is what the patriarchal bullsh*t media - including Women's Health - says connects with women. It connects with women because it is that exact advertising that TELLS women that is what they MUST WANT. Oh you gained a couple pounds? YOU MUST WANT TO LOSE THEM RIGHT NOW OR YOU WILL BE FAT AND UGLY! It connects with women because they are bombarded with "YOU MUST BE SKINNY" and "YOUR THIGHS MUST NOT TOUCH" and "DON'T GET BULKY" and end up hating themselves! Showing images of skinny, happy women, makes everyone else (average weight of 160) feel bad about themselves so they'll buy the book. They desperately want to be skinny because they have been taught to loathe their bodies.
Sorry, I'm sure that's a fantastic book, and I may read it and follow along when I'm done with NROL4W, but it sounds to me like Women's Health is saying "Sorry, we need a skinny bi*ch (because ... sh... skinny bi*ches sell books by making women hate their own bodies)" and Rachel had no choice in the matter. Sounds like PR to me.
Rachel's target audience is a group of women who are told by Women's Health and the rest of the media that skinny is hot, and fat is not. If they wanted to show someone who connected with their target audience, she would be a size 12-16, and definitely not airbrushed.
Also - and this is a shout-out for the model - she may not *look* strong, but neither do a lot of us. We look... typical! She may be stronger than she looks. I know some women who may not look strong, but can kick my a*s!"
And then, same day, GoKaleo (thanks A*L*P) posted this amazing blog:
Today I went shopping for some new summer bottoms, since I don't really have much. I got a pair of shorts, a pair of capri pants, and a pair of RUNNING SHORTS. I don't know how much running I'll do in them (fear of legs chafing) but I do intend to wear them to work out. The weight room at the Y is NOT air conditioned. Only the cardio room, with its sexy, flashy, expensive equipment, is air conditioned.
In theory... in theory, yes... if I eat well and strength train, I will have more muscle, which will increase my metabolism, and I will lose fat. How long will it take? I don't know. I am always torn between feeling bad about myself for being fat, and feeling bad about myself for caring about something so stupid.
Someday, I will be dying. It is bound to happen eventually. And I doubt that I will look back on my life and say "I wish I weighed less." I'm sure I will wish for more time to have fun, spend time with my family, go on adventures, and be comfortable with myself. I may even wish that I'd just worn whatever the f*ck I wanted, without caring what other people think. I don't understand why I am 32 years old, but just as worried about what I look like in my clothes as I did when I was 12. Haven't I grown up yet?
I don't know anymore.