Is it wrong to ask others to keep my "secret?" :(
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Yesterday was a rough day. :( I was hungry a LOT...this liquid diet may be starting to get to me.
I ended up over in my calories (I'm supposed to be on 1000) and I was over 1300 yesterday. (This is in order to shrink my liver for surgery next week.) I'm so paranoid that I won't do well enough and they'll sew me back up and reschedule the surgery. I think I'm worried too much about it, but I can't help it. I'm a worrywart!
Yesterday, I also taste tested 2 more of the unjury protein shakes, the strawberry and the unflavored. The strawberry was ok, nothing to write home about, but was tolerable, but I put the unflavored in tomato juice and it did alter the flavor a little and I just didn't like it. Maybe it'd be ok in a soup or something (but it can't be heated over 140 degrees) but I don't want to waste a soup if I screw it up with the unflavored..lol I already ordered a tub of the chocolate that I like and that should be here today.
Last night I went to my niece's concert (a bunch of 3rd graders playing recorders...fun times, man, fun times...lol) She was super duper cute though. Love her to pieces! Anyway, my uncle is visiting from out of state and he was there. Now, I'm not telling anyone really about my surgery except immediate family and a few friends (I don't really have many real life family or friends on here, if that makes sense..lol...so I'm not worried about it getting out that way.) Anyway, I'm not going to lie about it, but I'd rather not bring it up before, maybe after and if they ask I'll be honest, but I know there are some family members who are very back-stabby and like to gossip and will definitely see this as the easy way out or will have a ton of negative comments about it and I just don't want to hear all that baloney. So, it's easier to not say anything at this time.
So, my uncle doesn't know, I could just SEE my mom stressing the whole time worried that she'll say something wrong and it'll come out...lol I'm going to talk to her today and let her know, IF it accidentally slips or something, it's no big deal..I'll just deal with it. We're also planning a picnic for Memorial Day and since my uncle is visiting and I know mom's already stressing about the food and me...lol See where I get my worrywarting from? lol I told her, just plan as usual, I'll just come a little late so I miss most of the food part...then we'll visit and have fun, no biggie.
Sometimes I think it'd just be easier to just announce it to the whole world, but then I think, if I do that, there's no turning back from everyone under the sun knowing and EVERYONE wants to give their 2 cents, even if they have no knowledge in it at all. I'd rather not deal with that, but I do feel bad making my family kind of keep my "secret"..ya know? sigh...don't know what to do.