Thursday, May 23, 2013
When I first started losing weight, I decided that I was going to do it to see if my weight was costing me opportunities. I was curious enough to see if weight loss was going to change the way people interacted with me.
I wanted to see if, by losing weight, the variables that I had no control over (how people perceived me, how they interacted me, how much worth they put into me) would some how change, or if they wouldn't at all.
Before the weight loss, I was confident in my looks, I had no problem with my personality, and I told off anyone that tried to make me feel insecure.
When I started to lose weight, I promised myself that I would continue to exercise no matter what happened on the scale, because continuing to exercise meant something good was happening inside my body.
Now, in the middle of my journey, I feel so insecure.
I feel like if I don't lose anymore weight, I'll miss opportunities, I won't meet anyone special, everything I put on my body will be ugly no matter what, a picture taken of me will look ugly no matter what.
It's about time I go back to who I was when I started this weight loss journey.
This friday I'm going to meet with a stylist, and re do my wardrobe, and get things tailored to my body.
I'm not going to wait till I lose a few more pounds or a few more inches.
I don't have the perfect body, and I am not at a good weight, but I love myself enough to treat myself right.
God dammit I deserve nice things.
Edit: I'm also scheduling a photo shoot so I can look back at this time and say "Damn I was fine"