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    HOLLYT55   6,452
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Tear, Fears, Questions, Hope, New Vision


Thursday, May 23, 2013

I had preop appointment with my surgeon. He said it looks whimp under microscope. He wants to go back and take more and test it. He is is planning for surgery followed up with radiation and possible chemotherapy.
I am going for second opion but planning for about one month or slightly more from now. I have cried a little at work and at home. It is embrassing to cry but I know its ok.

I DID GO FOR A WALK!!! i ask doctor is it ok to still walk if im not hurting. he said oh yes! I dont want to give up.

I think that I do feel sore swollen. I thought it was because of stress but maybe more. it reminds me a little of swollen feeling from nursing my kids.

Thank you all for lovely support. It is hard for others to understand how you are feeling about being sick but wanting to still be moving toward health and wellness with focusing my mind, diet, work, everything in positive way.

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HOLLYT55 5/24/2013 12:25AM

    Thanks KACAR. My mom went through lumectomy and radiation and beat it. I sister died after fighting for 4 years. They have both been gone long time. I miss them. I used to think if happens to me will if show the courage that they did. I think you are right just take it as it comes laugh, cry is all ok.
My husband and kids are pretty upset and scared. We are talking and yelling a little letting our feelings out. I am glad that my younger son moved back to the area and my older son lives close too. I never wanted to be needy but it is just being there when I can use hand or laugh or whatever.

Thank you for being kind.
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KACAR51 5/23/2013 5:43AM

    You have such a positive attitude and that is good!
I know it is hard for others to understand. I had Hodgkins Disease (a type of Lymph node cancer) when I was 21. The idea of being sick is foreign to many people. For me it had been a life long battle. I have been so lucky to have a strong family support system! That makes al the difference!
Don't be embarrassed to cry! It is normal to feel sad and out of control! Let yourself grieve and then get on to the getting better part! My mom went through the surgery, chemo and radiation. It was hard for her, but she got through it with the help of her family and is now happy and healthy! You can do this! Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it! I think your attitude will help too! My prayers are with you!
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