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WTF. I quit.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013


OK, not really. But I am annoyed. I'm up THREE lbs this week. Not even week, as i weighed myself Sat and am now up 3 lbs in 4 DAYS.


It's so annoying. There are a number of potential causes:
~hormones. Whee
~muscle fatigue. I swear, when my muscles hurt like they do now, I ALWAYS weigh more. Think I read once that you retain more water as your muscles try to "repair" themselves. Maybe I'm just pulling that out of my gluteus maximus muscle though.
~Not eating a lot, or enough to compensate for the extra classes I'm doing

Anywho. It's annoying nonetheless. It has that potential to throw you into this whole mindset of: You know what? I've done this whole PUSH PUSH PUSH to get healthy and lose weight thing. How about turning it around and going the OPPOSITE direction? How about I see how BIG I can get for a change?

And then I think: Well, surely no one will NOTICE I'm up 3 lbs. I feel a little bloated for some reason (weird because I haven't eaten any grains or other "trigger" foods) but the B of it is, people I swear DO notice. I'm short, so it's like every single little lb is VERY evident, whether it's coming or going. I went from 162 to 154 and people were all "Oooh, I can TELL you've lost weight! " "Looking good!" "What are you doing different?" (and by people here, I mean students, who DON'T know when I'm making the effort to drop weight or not).

Ah well. Aside from aforementioned bloating, I do have to say I feel pretty strong these days. Not to be weird, but I notice it in class, like when I'm doing warmup, and making certain moves, I'm all "Grrr! I can FEEL that muscle!" and for the most part they feel strong & lean. (well, not the ab area. Jello, anyone?)

And sometimes I literally FEEL my muscles to reassure myself it's not just in my head. emoticon

So whatever. I'm just gonna keep on doing what I'm doing and not worry too much about it. Except at those moments when I DO worry about it. ha.

My oldest daughter, about to turn 10, has gotten some very funny, disturbing, ideas about body image in her head. She is TALL and LEAN, seriously like 4'8" and not even 70lbs yet, I think she weighs like 64 lbs. Anyway, she is convinced because some of her thighs are moveable...like that fatty part we ALL have, because a leg without ANY fat would just be...wrong, that they are "fat." And her dad, OMG, I could punch him, said to her "Well you can pretty much eat whatever you want cuz you're always gonna be tall and skinny like me" isn't helping matters much. I can't even tell you how many discussions we have had this week about body types, strong/healthy vs. "skinny" etc. The kicker is, I haven't even figured out 100% how to love and accept MY body most of the time, so how the heck am I supposed to instill that in her? Yesterday she kept pulling up her shirt going "I'm skinny here" and I can just see future issues on the horizon. As much as I AVOID using word like "fat" and "skinny" they have found their way into my house, and into my girl's heads (yes, the 6 year old has expressed frustration, only once so far that I've heard, about a shirt making her look "fat").

I mean, I let my scale/number obsession loose on Spark through my blogs, but I ALWAYS stress to my kids that i work out and eat well to be HEALTHY and make sure my body runs properly. I tell them everyone has a part of their body they don't LOVE, but we need to remember that it's serving a very important FUNCTION and take that body part away from us altogether, well, I bet we'd miss it.

Enough rambling for today. I've been up way too early all this week. Makes me loopy. And wordy. emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Unfortunately the whole body image thing is out there in so many places and young girls do pick up on it no matter what the parents say at home. Pray that your kiddos get some great influences in other places besides home, some people that they can look up to that also portray great examples of healthy living. Is there anyone that your kids would feel comfortable talking to? I was hurt at this suggestion when I first heard it because I thought why wouldn't my daughter want to talk to me? But it is truth, they need to talk to someone other than a parent.

    Keep up the good fight!
    1738 days ago
    3 pounds is a lot less then 8 pounds!!! (No brainer moment, but I feel it HAD to be said!)
    Besides... you do realize that you can't gain 3 pounds of FAT in 4 days...
    ESPECIALLY with the amount you have been exercising!
    I know... I should have been a brain surgeon!

    Just pointing out the obvious!

    I can guarantee the reason you are up on the scale is due to STRESS (probably from your crazy class schedule for the last couple weeks) and that you need to take a break (and SOON)!!! Even seasoned athletes take breaks from their training... so why don't we fitness instructors? Are we super human???

    I like how you are nipping the "fat" vs. "skinny" issue in the bud with your kiddos! The whole body image issue is so hard without all the labels... then you add the labels, and it's pretty much a losing battle!
    Maybe your girls should remind you that YOU are also very beautiful and that YOU need to LOVE the skin (and bones, and fat and MUSCLES) that you've got now!!!

    ... emoticon You also need to weigh in less! The scale does terrible things when abused!!!
    BIG HUGS!!! emoticon
    1738 days ago
    I weighed 86 pounds in high school and was 5'4" and was made fun of for being too thin. LOL. I really was never fat until after menopause. Menopause destroys a woman's metabolism.
    1738 days ago
    I've tried to be so very careful to promote "healthy" in our home, because I don't want them to struggle with their weight like I always have. I emphasize "properly fueling our bodies for our best performance" (they're in sports) and "taking care of our bodies, so that they'll be around for as long as we need them". So far it seems to have worked on my 20 year old. He's a total health nut, who enjoys running. :)

    Cheers, momma. I'm sure you're doing fine. :)
    1738 days ago
    You are funny! Parts of your blog made me chuckle a bit! I have a daughter too and I, like you, have been careful in using words like "healthy" around her. I always worry about raising her in the best way possible and I question myself endlessly! Raising kids is the hardest job ever! But the most rewarding as well!

    Good luck with everything. Harder said than done, but don't let the scale get to you! You workout like a machine! Be proud of those strong muscles!
    1738 days ago
    1738 days ago
    I gained five this week but feel great! Pictures work wonders to show results! Have a great week!

    1738 days ago
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