Tuesday, May 21, 2013
I was almost back on track for 3 days in a row...and yesterday just was terrible! I had a very bad binge day, of which I have not binged like that in about a year. I am frustrated with my job, it's not what I want to be doing, but I have bills and student loans to re-pay. My boss is a micromanger and has litterally told me that "micromanaging works." He has never worked for any one else in his life and doesn't understand the problems that mm causes. Anyhow, it was a rough day and after spending 2 hours on L.A.'s finest freeways, I got a call from my boss that I had to go into the office. It was already past 5:30p. We ended up having a conference call meeting while I was still on the freeway. When I got to the office, he wasn't there. I missed my Zumba class, which I really needed yesterday and by the time I got home, there were no more classes of anything for the night.
I ended up eating my gluten free cookies, the entire container. Then decided I should actually eat a normal dinner...so had some turkey black bean soup. I felt horrible. What did I do? I ate more, 4 popsicles (yes they were low-calorie, but still) and then a handful of pistachios. I felt really horrible before going to bed. I need to learn not to do this. It does not help me in anyway...and over the last few months...I have noticed that food doesn't even make me feel better anymore. So why the heck am I still doing it?!
I think there is also one other thing that is put into play here that I didn't realize until this morning. My new insurance has caused an issue with my prescriptions and Target just changed my birth control pills. That isn't the issue...I just realized that I had missed 3 days of my birth control pills and was greeted with that mistake this morning.
This morning, I don't feel like eating anything. I can't even believe that my stomach is growling, how is that even possible?! Anyways....I am going to make a healthy lunch (sandwich, apple, carrots and a banana for a snack) and I think I will just take a banana with me for breakfast. I have to be out in the field today, so I don't want to be left with the easy drive-thru option. I think I will also stop and get some coffee this morning.
I just really want to end this horrible cycle once and for all. I really think that I need to take sugar and sugar substitutes out of my diet. They make me crazy and I think they are contributing to my cravings. I am considering doing a Clean-eating program, since I am already Gluten Free... I was recommended the Eat-Clean Diet Recharged by Tosca Reno.
Has anybody been doing clean eating? Has it helped you? What recommendations or tips do you have? Would love to hear your thoughts and feedback!