Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.


    BOBCATGIRL76   26,177
SparkPoints
25,000-29,999 SparkPoints
 
 
Day 536- Accepting Myself (And a BIG Thank You to YOU!)

Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Monday, May 20, 2013

First, I have to thank you all yet again for your amazing support on my blog about my proposal. Having it featured by SparkPeople twice has really allowed me to hear from people from all over who have been inspired by my story which is such an honor. I remember joining SparkPeople a year and a half ago and reading the stories of INDYGIRL and seeing how she has touched so many lives and thinking, wow that must be an awesome feeling. And now all your comments make me feel the exact same way. I cannot thank you enough for being a part of my journey.

Now as for this blog, if you've looked at the top part of my page, you've seen the weekly weigh-ins I post every week. And you've noticed that I've been stuck in the 190s since November with a brief and short lived drop into the 180s. If you go back into my blogs you will also notice that I lost my grandmother in December which triggered a bit of a "Don't care" attitude in me, where I thought, I just don't care about tracking right now.

While that may have been totally acceptable at the time, grief is grief and people deal with it differently, I never truly reestablished goals and routines for myself after that. January started my final semester of graduate school which came along with a 50 page seminar paper and the job search (that still hasn't ended) and more complacency and not tracking. I'm truly lucky that I only gained back 18 pounds, 6 of which I've lost again.

I feel like it is so important not only to share my ups but also my downs because I want people to understand that I'm a real life person who makes mistakes, and has bad days and gains weight. Changing your lifestyle isn't a magical road filled with puppies, butterflies and rainbows. There are days when you just want to BINGE and eat everything in sight. And some of those days you do, and other times you win the battle. But that doesn't mean that the war isn't still brewing.

In the same sense, every slip up doesn't warrant giving up all together. I wish I could remember where I saw the quote on SP but someone said "When you get a flat tire, do you immediately jump out of the car and slash the other three?" It's something that I think about every time I over-indulge and think about just throwing that day, week, month away as a loss.

That's how I became 275 pounds.

I got on the scale, saw that I was overweight and thought. Who cares.

I got on the scale, saw that I was obese and didn't change my ways.

I had to buy the next biggest bra, shirt, pants and thought, oh well, this is just who I am.

But it wasn't who I am. I've never WANTED to be unhealthy. I just wasn't willing to try hard enough to become healthy. Until December 3, 2011. And although I've had my ups and downs since then, I've maintained an 80 pound weight loss for 6 months since last December. So I know that when I finally do reach my goal weight, maintenance should be something I can handle.

Something I've come to terms with however is that my weight is ALWAYS going to be a struggle. There will never be a time in my life where I will be able to stop tracking. Maybe I won't write it down and log it, but I will always have to be mindful of what I'm putting into my body. I wasn't blessed with the metabolism of some of my friends, so when I choose to get that super fatty dessert or slack off on my workout routine, the numbers on the scale and my clothing will creep up. But I just have to be okay with that.

I have to be okay with being me, with my faults my weaknesses and my lousy metabolism. Because I also know that I have the drive, the will to succeed, and the ability to reach goals that I set for myself because I've already done it. Every time I gain weight now, I'm not upset with myself. I take it as a reminder of who I am and who I know I can be.

I've been with SparkPeople for 536 days today, and in 544 days I get to marry my best friend. I know that I can reach my ultimate goal weight by then and be the healthiest and happiest bride I can be. I know this because of all of you, who continue to read my blog, hold me accountable and make me want to succeed.

I will never be able to thank SparkPeople or my SparkFriends enough for how you've changed my life.

Thank you.
SHARE
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUPERSYLPH 8/9/2013 12:47PM

    You can do it! We can all do it! Post pictures of your wedding when it comes around!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ADAPTINGANNIE 8/4/2013 10:52AM

    You have touched on the core of this site....caring. People truly care about you and your success. Sometimes it is just hard for us to care about ourselves as much as we should. You rock! Your awareness coupled with your determination puts you on that path to success. Thanks for sharing this.

Report Inappropriate Comment
GODDREAMDIVA1 6/24/2013 2:27PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
WACFIT 6/10/2013 3:14PM

    The tire quote is from Indygirl/Beth and I'm sure she would appreciate the credit. She calls her sayings Indyisms. emoticon She has been an inspiration to me as well.

Congrats on the engagement and the new job! Thank you for such honest blogs. It helps to know we are not alone in our struggles. Have a wonderful week. You are doing great!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NANHBH 6/6/2013 8:53AM

    Jan-Marie,

With that attitude, you will succeed. Happy countdown to wedding day!
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JILLRY03 6/4/2013 11:45AM

    Wow! I sit here with tears in my eyes because you are saying exactly what I'm thinking!! This will be a never ending battle and I have excepted that! Thank you for the motivation! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JILLRY03 6/4/2013 11:45AM

    Wow! I sit here with tears in my eyes because you are saying exactly what I'm thinking!! This will be a never ending battle and I have excepted that! Thank you for the motivation! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BARBARAJ73 6/1/2013 9:13AM

    emoticon It takes courage to share your personal story with us. Several of your thoughts ring so true with me. A lot to think about... and act on.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHARONVP 5/30/2013 3:38PM

    Truly inspirational!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
EFFRAYECHILDE 5/30/2013 7:32AM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CFMOSS 5/29/2013 7:41AM

    Way to go - your comments help all of us keep on keeping on.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROBBIEY 5/28/2013 9:22PM

  Doing great, keep moving. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CORNERKICK 5/28/2013 4:01PM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SIZE8NOTSOMUCH 5/28/2013 11:43AM

    Loved your blog, mostly because you are YOU and YOU are half way between what you were, and what you will become (in addition to a wife)...
Best of luck to you, I will continue to check in...

J


Report Inappropriate Comment
IMSOOZEEQ 5/26/2013 9:53PM

    Thank you for sharing. I needed to be reminded that I am not the only one on the journey or who has battles/struggles! You have been an inspiration to me and I have learned much from your blogs!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ELMA1913 5/26/2013 8:19AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MONICA2587 5/26/2013 8:10AM

    You rock! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SANDYLH1 5/25/2013 4:20PM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DUSTYPRAIRIE 5/24/2013 11:52PM

    Great blog. I'm inspired! Thank you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
RODYANNE 5/24/2013 2:15PM

  Thanks for a wonderful blog and inspiration to keep going one day at a time.

Report Inappropriate Comment
GIRL*IN*MOTION 5/24/2013 2:06PM

    You are so very inspiring for many! Thank you for sharing your journey with us all :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
TINA_L 5/24/2013 2:03PM

    Awesome blog! :)

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NHEMBERGER 5/24/2013 12:41PM

    Great Blog! Keep up the winning attitude!
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LEANMEAN2 5/24/2013 7:04AM

    Thanks for sharing.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ELMA1913 5/23/2013 7:01PM

    Awesome ! Glad that you are accepting yourself - it is hard to do, but I finally reached that point also. Made me a lot happier/

Report Inappropriate Comment
ARUN4ONE 5/23/2013 6:28PM

    Thanks so much for sharing your ups and downs. I too think sometimes I have to nail this perfectly to be a success, but the truth is the success is in the journey. Very, very happy for you that you are learning so much about yourself and growing in leaps and bounds in so many areas of your life! AWESOME!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SANDYLH1 5/23/2013 5:49PM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BOPPY_ 5/23/2013 3:16PM

    Step after step ... triumphs over everything.

emoticon

Lee emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MANILUS 5/23/2013 2:04PM

    Great job and I hope you have a wonderful wedding!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARYGOLD5 5/23/2013 1:33PM

    emoticon Congratulations on your success and on your continued success, which I know will continue because of your determination and your realization that we are not perfect. When we slack off or make a mistake, we just pick ourselves up and continue on.

Report Inappropriate Comment
FLAB2FABFARMGRL 5/23/2013 1:26PM

    Congrats on all of your weight loss and everything else you have accomplished over your journey! You truly are an inspiration to everyone!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WORKNPROGRESS49 5/23/2013 11:11AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
FIRECOM 5/23/2013 11:10AM

    Yep, this road we are on is very bumpy, indeed and it seems to always be uphill. Never down hill.

bummer.

Report Inappropriate Comment
RENATA144 5/23/2013 10:49AM

  Mazel Tov !!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DMSGLASS 5/23/2013 10:29AM

    Thank you for sharing with us once again. Your story is true for most of us. Blessings in your journey and much happiness in marriage to your best friend. From experience, I can tell you that it's the only way to go! It'll be 25 years with my best friend this September. Praying for at least another 25!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LISA_FRAME 5/23/2013 10:29AM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CLIMBERS_ROCK 5/23/2013 10:02AM

    I love the quote. I shared it with my sister who gets discouraged easily. You are right. No one gets up in the morning and says I think I'll go on a diet to get fat. You have made so much progress and have the time and opportunity to reach your goal weight in time for your wedding. What a great present to yourself. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TINY67 5/23/2013 9:36AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MITCHARVEY 5/23/2013 7:48AM

    Great blog! Life is all about the journey and we all deal with grief in our own way.

Report Inappropriate Comment
TEASCHERTZ 5/22/2013 4:37PM

    Love it. Thanks!
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
WALKINGCHICK 5/22/2013 4:27PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEWTINK 5/22/2013 4:06PM

    Although we are all here to support you in any way you need us to ... Remember to thank the most important one first that is yourself If you didnt make the decision and the dedication then nothing that we do here on Spark people would ever help you... I might not be one of your spark friends but I am one on the battle field of obesity with you and emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
2BEHEALTHY2014 5/22/2013 4:04PM

    Great blog! Thanks for sharingz,

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUSIEMT 5/22/2013 12:03PM

    Yea you! That sounded like an Indyism to me! The quote that is!
Everyday maybe a trial but it always feels so good when the not guilty verdict comes in!
Keep up the good work! When we do the footwork everything falls into place.

Report Inappropriate Comment
UWPALUM 5/22/2013 8:54AM

    I love your attitude and wish you the best of luck as you go into the next phase of life as a married woman! Enjoy every moment, and the fact that you've accepted yourself helps me think I might get there someday as well!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SANDYCRANE 5/22/2013 8:16AM

    SP is awesome and so are you. Keep up the good work.

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JRICHART 5/22/2013 7:49AM

    Oh the things we learn about ourselves when we embark on this journey!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TDEMAIO2 5/22/2013 7:29AM

    Your an inspiration thank you : ) emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NSSREENIVASAN 5/22/2013 5:15AM

  Quite inspiring. Thanks for sharing.

Report Inappropriate Comment
4RASCALS 5/22/2013 4:51AM

    emoticon on your success. Thanks for sharing your story. You are amazing

Report Inappropriate Comment

Add Your Comment to the Blog Post


Log in to post a comment.
Member Comments Page (180 total):  1 2 3 Next > Last >>