Day one of a new begining. AGAIN!

Monday, May 20, 2013

So today I did my first workout for this go round. I have been batteling myself with this for over 10 years. My life is insane. I have 2 boys one is 10 the other is 7. My oldest (Caleb) is a 6 1/2 year brain cancer survivor. Although he has beat the cancer it hasn't left him unscathed. He has suffered from 2 major strokes and about 100 TIA's. He just recently underwent his 21 surgery in less than 7 years. And everyday that boy wakes up with a smile on his face loving life and everything it has for him. And yet I cannot find the strength or the commitment to workout and eat right to lose weight and be the best mom I can be for him?! What the hell is wrong with me? My 2nd son Cole has recently been diagnosed ADHD/Anxiety issues. The poor boy is only 7. But it doesn't surprise me. Look at what he has had to grow up dealing with. He wasn't even 1 when Caleb was diagnosed with his tumor. It is all he knows is worrying about his brother not knowing if he was going to die or not. They are both amazing boys and I am truly blessed to be chosen to be their mom. But it is very hard. My husband who is great, most of the time, Has a job where he is on call 24/7 and can be gone for days at a time. I am used to it and it does kinda work for our marriage. but it does make it just a little more stressful sometimes. I sometimes feel like a single parent but at least I don't have to work. His job is a very good one with great benefits, and does allow me to not have to work. So with that being said, both of the boys are in school full time so why why why do I just not get up and workout? I don't know either. It seems lately all of my motivation, energy, drive whatever it is all gone. I am just so exhausted all the time. I am not even 40 yet I don't want to feel this way. And I certainly don't want to look this way either. So today after I got the kids off to school, I did a workout. Well first I took measurements, and even some pics. I am going to start small. My plan is to do The Firm Express workouts. I am not overly exhorting myself because I know I won't get thru the whole thing if I do, So during the bursts I am just doing the bare min. at my speed. I am also not going to use any weights during my first round. So My plan is to do 1 video every day 3-5 days per week. The goal is 5 days a week, but at least 3. This is the boys last full week of school, so I am hoeing I can get a good start this week and then just keep the momentum going. I have an outdoor concert we are going to in September, and I have a cute ladies cut shirt that I want to wear. That is my goal. I am very self conscious about my stomach so if it is not flat enough by then the shirt wont happen. I am going to try to post on here everyday because I think that will help me stay on track. Ok, well I hope every one has a great day, and I'll check in tomorrow after my workout.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    my heart breaks for your sons. I am so happy you are such a good mom to them. Good luck on your journey . It is the hardest thing in the world to have a child with health issues. You and your family are in my prayers.
    1766 days ago
  • NVAND1
    Take it one day at a time, and don't beat yourself up! Good luck on reaching your goal!!! emoticon
    1766 days ago
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