My sweetie pie dug out our wedding photo from WHO knows where and updated our facebook status with it. He wrote a VERY sweet public proclamation to accompany it that was so VERY sweet, uplifting and flattering to me...I'm blushing just typing this!
Our beautiful son (dearly departed) Josh inherited a lot of his sweet nature and loving ways. He is steady, and supportive, and sweet and considerate. Not bad in 'charming selection' of husband material eh?
Our marriage was a second for both of us. We both had came out of stormy rocky relationships before and we started off as just really great supportive friends for a very long time before we ever thought we'd be a couple.
Most of the time our conversations involved talking about the happiness we both seemed to have found and the PEACE we could now enjoy even if on our own (former partners were CRAZY people
) Then we'd go on to try and analyze how we'd avoid that type of person ever again if we were lucky enough to meet someone else.
I had been married for 10 years with the last 9 being fatally unhappy. Can you imagine my former husband wouldn't even let me have a telephone because he said I didn't need to be sitting around gabbing all day!
These were NOT the dark ages they were the 70's!
It was a year long fight to get him to allow me to actually get a full time job! He'd have preferred to keep me chained in the house and with no car available that wasn't all that difficult.
This is what seems to happen up when you pick someone just because they are muscle bound and good looking. You have pretty warped priorities in selecting someone at age 13 then winding up married at 17 with a baby girl at age 18! Talk about TRAPPED!
I must have been the only girl on planet earth that did NOT want to marry this guy but was bullied into it with no family support protecting my own interests. My mother having very FLAWED abilities to see this guy as the bully that he was thought that he was totally wonderful. Lesson...to the wise...the most ROTTEN people can sometimes be the best looking and the MOST charming on the surface. Beware!
DH made much the same mistakes. He fell for a girl several years older than him who thought she was the cat's meow. She dumped him after 4 years of marriage for a big insurance executive at the company she worked for. DH's heart was broken and I think he held a pretty big grudge against women for a good long time after that.
But being the sometimes flawed humans that we are...he jumped right back into another relationship with a totally CRAZY woman who would hunt him down in the same way my ex-husband would when we separated. We could have filmed 'Fatal Attraction' and if we were the stars it wouldn't be acting!
We were both un-nerved by former crazy relationships and in no hurry whatsoever to repeat them. Whereever we went (DM was not a huge town) the two stalkers seemed he** bent on tracking us down.
Yikes...no WONDER we moved to FL as soon as we got married. 1800 miles away from our home towns seemed like a VERY good cushion of safety for us. It was the SMARTEST thing we EVER did!
Now today...on our wedding anniversary celebration...some 35 years later I really want to call his best friend and room mate...the one that had warned DH off of our friendship when it became more than that and he proposed marriage to me.
He told my hubs "If she's been married to that guy for 10 years and has been with him since age 13, she's gonna dump you and go back to him!" Can you imagine the impact that would have on a guy that had been through the rotten experience he had? Not good for the girl (that would be ME) in the picture...not good at all!
This well meaning but blubber brained friend... OBVIOUSLY didn't know my ex!
Had he...he would never have uttered that misplaced advise! I felt SO lucky to have escaped with my life!
I told DH that I'd NEVER, EVER, EVER be under the thumb of a man again...NEVER...with finger pointing for emphasis and good measure!
Luckily he's a live and let live kind of guy and he knows that I'm the loyalest person on the face of the earth. He knew if I was in a committed relationship I'd NEVER do to him what his first wife did.
I knew that he'd NEVER bully me, or try to own me in the way that my ex-husband did so a wonderful relationship of trust and respect was born.
Obviously it was the BEST choice for both of us. If you have a bad relationship in your past. DON'T chose the same type of person over again...you'll just end up repeating your misery!
We are off to Sanibel Island and Captiva Island today to take a nice hike or bicycle ride in Ding Darling Park. Or we may just stroll the beach and do a little shell picking. We'll find a nice cafe and have a good seafood luncheon. Or we may have a snack and chose dinner instead.
You see...it isn't WHAT we do...it's that we DO it together...that's what a good marriage boils down to!
I am truly blessed to have the wonderful hubs that I do...truly!