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Made of lead

Sunday, May 19, 2013

I've had a nightmare a couple of times. In it I can't move at all, not even turn my head. When I wake up out of this dream I am literally paralyzed and not breathing. I force my jaw open and that breaks the paralysis. Scary, to say the least.

Emotionally, that's where I am right now. I feel frozen in cement. There's a whirlwind of emotions going on that saps my strength. Everything just feels like too much.

I just almost wrote "I'm sorry." I feel like I'm doing something wrong for the emotional paralysis. I don't know how to cut the steel net.
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