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    LADYIRISH317   70,837
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Made of lead

Sunday, May 19, 2013

I've had a nightmare a couple of times. In it I can't move at all, not even turn my head. When I wake up out of this dream I am literally paralyzed and not breathing. I force my jaw open and that breaks the paralysis. Scary, to say the least.

Emotionally, that's where I am right now. I feel frozen in cement. There's a whirlwind of emotions going on that saps my strength. Everything just feels like too much.

I just almost wrote "I'm sorry." I feel like I'm doing something wrong for the emotional paralysis. I don't know how to cut the steel net.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 5/21/2013 9:51PM

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MRS_TOAD 5/21/2013 8:17AM

    I'm so worried about you. Take care of yourself. emoticon

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CHEFSOPHIE 5/20/2013 9:08PM

    Mary you really need to talk with Arthur about this. I am sending you serious hugs.

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MONETRUBY 5/20/2013 2:16PM

    Do NOT be sorry for being honest! This is where you can do that, safely and securely, in order to find support. At times, I experience the same paralysis, especially when I am in that "in-between" state of not really being either awake or asleep. It can be quite frightening, until I get my bearings and realize what is going on. I think your likening it to your emotional state is quite apt. This sounds like something that would be good to talk with Arthur about;I think he can help you parse out why you feel this way and, more importantly, how to fight the feelings and become stronger.

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MPARKER67 5/20/2013 12:47PM

    The nightmare can be your falling asleep paralysis. It usually happens if you sleep on your back. I read an article about it because it happens to me sometimes and id the worse feeling ever.


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CAALAN23 5/20/2013 12:01PM

    I am learning myself to post honesty in my blogs, and you should not be sorry to do that. (Although, I am like you and always seem to want to apologize.)

I understand the whirlwind of emotions that leave you weighted down. I always hated the cliche of Fake it Til You Make It, but there is truth in all cliches. Maybe find a meditation visual or phrase that you can repeat to yourself whenever that feeling overwhelms you and then just do. Doesn't matter what it is from doing dishes to walking dog to a hobby...just do and don't think.

I really hope that helps because I can empathize so much with what you are feeling.
Feel better soon.
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Tina

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LIS193 5/20/2013 10:50AM

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CINCYDORA 5/20/2013 10:29AM

    Aw. I can imagine that type of dream just makes you more anxious. I hope you are able to break through soon. You can do it!!

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JESSERMOVICK 5/20/2013 10:22AM

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MISSG180 5/20/2013 10:15AM

    I found myself continually posting nothing but the worst that was happening in life. I'm trying to rewrite those stories in my head and post positives, even if they are minor. It's helping me get out of the funk.

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AMBERZADE67 5/20/2013 9:26AM

    That sounds horrible. Since you have such a strong image of where you are in your head I am wondering if replacing that image would help you out. Maybe doing some meditations where you see yourself as free or where you see yourself getting out of the limiting situation would help you. If you have a smart phone there are all kinds of free apps that have meditations ... and there should be some online.

Wishing you all the best.

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1CRAZYDOG 5/20/2013 9:15AM

    I agree w/COMFYGLAMDIVA . . . no need to apologize! I'm glad you were able to vent/post about this. hat's a step in trying to make a plan to feel better!

Sending (((HUGS))) your way.

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BIGPAWSUP 5/20/2013 8:57AM

    Try to relax. I hope you can find some calm soon.

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GABY1948 5/20/2013 8:40AM

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GABY1948 5/20/2013 8:40AM

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BROOKLYN_BORN 5/20/2013 8:34AM

    As someone who "carries xanax" I understand what you're saying. I hope you feel better soon. Take care of yourself.

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GIA_ROSY 5/20/2013 8:16AM

    Feel better emoticon

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ELSCO55 5/20/2013 8:02AM

    emoticon

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CAROLJEAN64 5/20/2013 6:46AM

    Check out this link http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/a
rticle-2181274/Waking-nightmare
s-Heart-pounding-Frozen-fear-Un
able-scream-The-little-known-co
ndition-millions-suffering-from.html
It's about that kind of nightmare, but I also think you are right in your interpretation for you emotionally. Reach inside your heart, you will find the wire cutters labeled love.

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NEW-CAZ 5/20/2013 3:08AM

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GLAMNGLOWDIVA 5/20/2013 1:06AM

    Don't be sorry for your honest feelings about how you feel. Own those feelings, even the bad ones. emoticon

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