Sunday, May 19, 2013
The last day or two I've been in a bit of a funk. I have been sick so I do have a bit of an excuse but I think it was a little more than that as well. Everything has been go go go lately and one exciting event after another until there was nothing. I was feeling a little down, tired, drained, and a little empty. I ended up wallowing about all day yesterday and this morning started out that way. When things got really busy, I slacked on taking care of myself. I did not exercise, I did not track my calories, I did not drink my water, and for too many days I forgot to even take my pills. This morning I realized that not taking care of myself was definitely contributing to my feeling down but didn't even want to do anything about it (except take my pills). Then I started to think about the future. Not the far distant unknown future but just this summer. I was thinking about getting Lavinia a bike so we could ride the Confederation Trail. I started thinking about Charlie's Walk the end of June. I knew I was not going to be able to run or even walk a 5k if I don't train. I then started looking at my training schedule to see how far I was behind (about 2 weeks) and decided to suck it up and just do a 20 min workout which was the first workout I missed two weeks ago. SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP is what my inner voice is always saying when I get such a negative attitude.
I really don't like walking outside but I am trying to appreciate what I have. Right now with no vehicle, I am not able to get to the gym regularly and am a wimp when it comes to exercising outside. I am now taking pictures on my walks. I find that it helps me to appreciate the scenery around me. I know I missed it when I was in the US and in NS but when I have access to it everyday, it is so easy to take for granted. Taking a picture forces me to stop and look or even look for a picture worthy area while I am walking. It is easy to want and want and want things that are out of your reach and not so easy to be satisfied with what you have.
Anyway, my walk pushed me out of my funk and I did not call in to work sick as I planned when I woke up. I thought that if I just put the cough syrup to me, I might make it through at least half of my shift but I actually made it through the whole shift with little difficulty. I did sound funny with my scratchy voice but it did not hurt like it did this morning. I even counted my calories today and was within range.
I think as far as happiness goes it comes in peaks and valleys, the peaks are very exciting and wonderful but then a valley comes and seems to be so horrible after that peak experience. I need to appreciate the valleys as well since they are a time to pause, rest, reflect. What is not right? What can I do to make things better? As much as the valleys can hurt after the peaks, the peaks are so much better after a valley.