Sunday, May 19, 2013
I have been doing well and was feeling great. I was all prepared to start the Spark Solutions Challenge. I bought the food and logged the meals when I printed the recipes. Then Friday May 10th, my birthday and a couple of days before the start of the challenge, my best friend of 11 years lost her battle with pancreatic cancer. It was bittersweet . I knew she was dying (she was in hospice after a long, courageous 2 year battle) and I was glad she didn't have to suffer any more. I kept those feelings for several days, being thankful she was out of pain and reviewing my sweet memories of her wonderful life. I had a bump in the road Saturday morning, when I broke my toe walking in the bedroom (in bare feet). Now I had to deal with my feelings and stress without my fantastic running. The next challenge was that my husband left on Tuesday for a 10 day hike in Utah with his brother. I had no one to share my sadness with. I did start the Spark Solution program strong and lost a pound by Wednesday morning, but grief grabbed me Thursday and I have had periods of crying, loneliness and ice cream bloopers. I called friends and tried walking with them (a little painful), I biked, swam and tried deep water running. I have tried to keep active but I am sad. I have no enthusiasm. My friends took me out for a late birthday meal yesterday which was wonderful but I came home to an empty house. I went for a walk this morning. I have made all the meals except one day I skipped and ate my comfort food. I'm not going to weigh til Wednesday and I will go from there. This week is not about weight loss. Its about getting thru grief the best I can.