Sunday, May 19, 2013
I am feeling empowered in that my husband and I have eaten out several times and I am continuing to see movement on the scale and a steady loss. Making better choices all around, no matter where I go to eat and speaking up when it is time to choose where we are going to insure that I can have something worthy of choosing at that restaurant.
The other day when I entered into the start page what I weigh and what I want to weigh and it said it would take me 3 years to get there losing approximately 2 lbs a week the fantasy that a short-term diet fix would solve my weight issue finally died. 3 years is not a diet it is a complete life style reworking, from top to bottom.
I do feel that I have made significant strides in this area though. I am not buying or bringing unhealthy foods into my home. I choose only whole grains and I am careful as to the total carbohydrate load per meal...and it is working.
I have let go that being unique and meeting my own special needs is a punishment and my belief in my over all unworthiness that has been at the core of years of self-abandonment.
Letting go of the guilt of sins committed as a young adult, 35 years of penitence, and self-flagulation with food is enough. God does not require any of that. If I am truly his, I have to truly accept forgiveness for my poor choices in the past. God doesn't remember them and it is time for me to set myself free from my own self-condemnation. Those whom he sets free are free indeed. It is time.