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I can't run with others. Does this mean I'm an "antisocial runner?"


Saturday, May 18, 2013

My oldest ran with me this morning and we've discovered that I can't run with others. She "throws off" my pace. I felt like I was running really slow! We both agree that hearing each other breathe also is disruptive to "our own run." I'm glad we agree on this. No feelings hurt this way!

I've heard that music really helps when running. I may have to look into this one. Maybe my son will let me borrow his MP3 player. I will be running in the 4 mile D-day run for my kids' high school in early June. I'd like to try a 10K and if I can get my distance up, I may try for a 1/2 marathon in September. We'll see.

My voice is coming back slowly and I'm starting to feel better with a healthy day of eating. It will be even better tomorrow!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PUPPYWHISPERS 5/23/2013 11:25AM

    I can't run with other people either. It's just me alone or me and my dog. He doesn't judge and he is always happy to adjust his speed for me. I don't consider it anti-social at all.

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FAVORITEAUNT84 5/20/2013 12:16PM

    I'm totally with you. I hate working out with other people. I find it really distracting.

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KPETSCHE 5/20/2013 8:29AM

    I usually run alone, with music to distract me, and enjoy my solitude. I run differently in a race and sometimes have a difficult time not listening to myself only. It all takes time to see what works best for you. Definitely don't want to get distracted by music and lose track of "traffic" if you are running on a street or trail and get run down by someone or something. Glad you are feeling a little better. We are having graduation on Thursday night and then our son's party on Saturday evening. Lots to get done!

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KONRAD695 5/19/2013 11:14PM

    I hear you on this one. I'm a lone runner too. The days I run with other people are treated as extra days. Usually they are inside at the Y and we only go a mile or so after a workout class.

I love working out and running with music. Sad though- I can't run with it. My body starts to adjust to the pace of each song. Run fast for 3:26, slower for 4:14, then back to TOO fast for 3:48. I think you get the picture.

PS- 10k races aren't much different than a 5k. Double your 5k time, add a couple minutes, and then your done. Your body will not really know the difference until the next morning. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MIRAGE727 5/19/2013 10:04AM

    Ah yes, I recognize the addiction!
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I run with two groups weekly but we all run our paces! I always emphasize "running your race!" I'm another runner who doesn't listen to music especially when I train. I focus on the course, runners around me, and my inner conversation!
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I've seen other runners become totally oblivious because of it and become a hazard to themselves as well as others. At the same time, if one can do it safely and feel it's right for them, it's cool.
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CAMAEL100 5/19/2013 8:53AM

    I don't like to run with someone else either. I feel it would ruin my pace which depends on my mood/tiredness! I don't want to have to slow down or speed up to keep pace with anyone else!! I don't feel bad about that!

I find listening to music helps me not to hear my own laboring breath!! A few times I have gone without it, I feel too sorry for myself. I hadn't realised how my breath was when I was listening to the music. The music motivates, energises and distracts me from any discomfort I may be feeling. It also helps the time go faster!

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MILLEDGE2 5/19/2013 7:20AM

    I can't run with someone else because almost everyone I know is taller than I and has longer legs. If I try to keep up with their strides, I'm going faster than is good for me and if they slow down to match me, neither of us is happy. So it becomes "solitary moving meditation" time and that is welcome in my life, too!

Keep up the good work!

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ARCHIMEDESII 5/19/2013 6:45AM

    Nah, you're not anti-social at all ! I find it difficult to run with a group too. To run with another person, you and that person really should run at about the same pace. It really is difficult to run with other people if one person runs an 8 minute mile, another runs a 10 minute mile and another a 7 minute mile.

If you'd like to continue to run with your oldest, you may have to slow down your pace. If you're training for a race, you might want to keep your training sessions separate from the days you run with your son. Personally, I think it's a great idea to run with your family. Some days we run just because it gives us pleasure, not because we're training for something.

I wouldn't give up your time with your son if he enjoys running with you. You might want to slow your pace so that he can keep up. If you do this long enough, you may find he starts passing you. teeheee....

The point ? If you enjoy running with your family, you might want to slow your pace and just enjoy the time you're spending together. You can be on your own when you have your training runs.

Personally, I don't listen to music when I run. I know many people find it motivating, I find it a distraction. There is a reason marathon running is called the loneliness of the long distance runner. Long distance running is all about you and the road. I like being able to think when I run. However, try listening to some of your favorite tunes when you run. See how you like it. If you like it continue. If you don't you can always stop.

I will also say that the beat of the music can influence your speed. So, if you want to pick up the pace, choose music with a fast beat.



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MARINEMAMA 5/19/2013 6:28AM

    I normally run alone. On a few occasions I have run with a friend and it went okay but my pace was off. Whether I was trying to keep up with her stride or just not used to it. I listen to books while running. It really helps me. I run for the most part in the country and on trails, but I still keep it low enough so I can hear what's going on around me.
Glad you are feeling better!

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OWL_20 5/19/2013 6:19AM

    I run alone, too but have run with a partner before. I tend to go solo because I find myself comparing and competing and that never works out for the best. I used to run with music all the time but these last few months, because of running outside, I've left it at home so I can more in tune with my environment (and with my body--sometimes a great playlist can override the 'I need to stop' signal). And at races I find myself almost meditating to get 'away' from the crowd scene, lol. Take care and hope you figure it out, but keep running!

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BROOKLYN_BORN 5/19/2013 5:28AM

    I run alone because I have no one to run with. Sometimes I envy those in a running club if only for the support and encouragement and advice to improve, but I'm OK by myself. I don't even need an mp3 player. I keep pace with the music playing in my head.
Always be aware of your surroundings. Don't drown out potential danger by plugging up your ears.

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PMRUNNER 5/19/2013 5:19AM

    Most of my runs are solo. I sometimes run with headphones, some times without, depends on the mood I am in. If you do, keep the volume at a reasonable level so that you don't block out the noises around you and to avoid ear damage/loss of hearing that can occur from loud head phone use. I do have a few friends I run with now and then. Some are faster, some are slower, but when we run together we usually find a comfortable pace that works for both of us.

When I am the faster one, I have never complained (outwardly or inwardly) about going too slowly. When I am the slower one, I have not felt any resentment from my speedier friend that I was slowing him down. I am guessing most runners would feel the same, they are glad to be out there running.

Keep it up, it sounds like you are doing great!

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KRISZTA11 5/19/2013 4:12AM

    I'm glad your voice is coming back!

I love running alone, and that's good because I don't have anybody to run with ; )
Once I ran with my brother-in-law, and that was OK because he was just a bit slower than me, so I slowed down a bit an had an easy run.
But it must be hard to run with someone who is faster, I would feel embarrassed to slow them down, or to be left behind.

In running groups working up towards long distances they set the pace so that it is comfortable to the slowest person in the group, so I hear.

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ADVENTURESEEKER 5/19/2013 2:22AM

    It's normal! There are many who prefer to run by themselves, with or without music. Many run with others, but in their own bubble, and some are chatty social butterflies when they run.

I recommend to just have one earbud in while running if you listen to music so you can always pay attention to what's going on around you. You probably know that already though!

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CM_GARDNER78 5/18/2013 11:00PM

    Glad to hear you are feeling better! Hope the graduation party went well today! Congrats to your graduate!! :-)

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OAKTREE10 5/18/2013 9:24PM

    great job, and again, i would only run if i had a bear chasin' me!

as for an ipod, yes, great idea....BUT you must be aware of what is going on around you, cars, dogs, ect... sometimes people get "lost" in moment. and i have some friends that run, and use something that tracks their course and it goes on facebook. i am very wary of that! i wouldn't want anyone to know my course. i know i am might sound paranoid, but just stay aware of your surroundings!

awesome job running!

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SHERREE66 5/18/2013 9:18PM

    I don't think you're an antisocial runner. I think you're a focused runner. I am the same way. I have a playlist on my iPod that I call Running music because its fast and helps me keep a good pace. I too can't stand hearing myself breathe. It always sounds like I'm struggling even though I know I'm not. Keep on running!

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LJR4HEALTH 5/18/2013 8:25PM

    I always listen to music when I'm jogging even did so on my 1st 5K

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BESCATS 5/18/2013 8:06PM

    I'm not a runner, but I wouldn't even make it though my gym workouts without music !!

I like being in my own little world when I do my cardio ~ just me and my music.

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BIGPAWSUP 5/18/2013 7:56PM

    I can run by myself (or with Tazzy) in the "quiet". When I race I HAVE to have music.

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