Saturday, May 18, 2013
Yay! I lost another kg and am almost to my "first goal" weight of 71kg. Only 2 more kg to go before I get there and then onto goal number 2 which will be 65kg.
Things were pretty good spark-wise this week. It's getting easier to work out, I don't feel as though I NEED to anymore but that I WANT to which is awesome. Eating has been pretty good though I've gone over my calories about 10 or 30 cals a few times, I've also gone over my exercise though on those days as well so it balanced out.
It has been a pretty hard week to be honest in other ways. I've had a couple of negative experiences. One where a client of our business verbally "attacked" me on my day off when she saw me in a public place. Long story short she had made an error on a document she submitted to us and when we picked it up and told her she'd have to pay to fix it she got angry--even though it wasn't us actually charging her but the people we contract for. Weird part is she never complained at our office and said it was totally her fault at the time.
Anyway, that was number one. Number two was when an ex-colleague of mine who has gone to work at a competitor sent me a nasty email. She wrote how selfish and moody I was and that I was too selfish to ever consider bringing children into the world (backstory: I'm not sure my husband and I want to have children and she has kids and was angry that when she worked with us our head manager, my boss, wouldn't let her go part time). Anyway, that was two years ago and she claims that I have been spreading gossip about her not being able to do her job while she had kids which is insane because I haven't even thought about this woman since she left, let alone spoke about her. I think another girl who is friends with her who was recently fired for stealing from our company and went to the same competitor may have tried to rock her up. I didn't respond though and have kind of washed my hand of it.
Anyway, on both accounts I got really upset and cried. And felt horrible. And I talked to some friends who all told me not to worry, that I wasn't a bad person or selfish and that the reason that people tend to attack is because of inadequacies in themselves and I ended up in the firing line. My husband helped me to realize some things...
-We all need to take responsibility and hold ourselves accountable for who we are and our actions.
-We may not be liked by everyone but as long as we take the moral high ground we can hold our heads up high and know we are acting with integrity.
-Not everyone will like you or strive to make you feel good, but we cannot let those people control how we allow ourselves to feel.
-For every one of those people that try to hurt us or make us feel bad, there will be ten others out there who will make you feel loved.
-Do not let others deter you from achieving that which you have set out to do.
The great thing about this is that I have not comfort eaten, I have turned to exercise and friends, fun and positive outlets instead. I feel as though this is a turning point for me and a huge achievement.
The next challenge is going to be my upcoming trip to Hong Kong. I leave on Tuesday and have planned when I can work out during the conference, but I am a little nervous as I will not have control over my food. I have learned my portion sizes pretty well the last three weeks so I think I will be able to manage. Here's hoping I report week 4 from Hong Kong with good news. I won't have my scale so the weigh-in will have to wait until week 5, but I will try to keep you posted.
Thanks all for reading!